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1. P16
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|
Session #125 – September 9, 1989
Present: Betty Welty, Edith Durfey, Jean Chisholm, Jeneeka, Jnana Sivananda,
Joni Schultz, Myra Perala and Sidney Smither
The group prepared itself with the rolling AUM.
Gloria: With some reluctance I have to talk about this. When the circle was
reconstructed, we made a contract. I felt that my part of the contract was to be your
channel to the greatest of my ability and to the fullest extent of my strength. I feel
that I have done that. Your part of the contract was commitment to the circle and to
monetary support of me for the time I spend doing what I contracted to do for you.
Now at Jon Paul’s I had the sheets that showed who was paid up to where, and it
disappeared, as I have mentioned several times. So this week I set about looking up
the checks, because I keep copies of all the checks that come in, and I also have a
register. I was going to reconstruct that copy when Enid stayed my hand. I mean
physically grasped my hand and scared me.
I’m used to them coming in a different way but this was physical. She stayed
my hand as I was reaching for this record. She said, “That is outside of your special
responsibility.” And I asked, “What do you mean?” She replied, “It is not for you to
keep the records for them. It is for you to keep records for yourself only. The
contract must be fulfilled by each individual’s conscientious fulfillment of
obligation. It does not matter in the overall picture to you whether or not the others
do. Your contribution is repaid to you from all source, whatever it might be. In
initiation, all must fulfill the obligations to each other by virtue of one’s own
conscience. That’s the way Quality is Quantified, and the way Volition is increased.”
So I have to tell you that it’s up to you whether or not you make a monetary
contribution to my support. OK? The consequences of that obligation fulfillment or
non-fulfillment pertain to you and what happens to you. It’s not for me to keep
records as to whether or not you do. I need to keep records for my own purposes
only.
My records are complete. I have recorded everything that has come in as far
as my obligation to my financial structure, my tax structure, whatever. So I feel that
I’m clear, that I have fulfilled my obligation for my space.
Then Sheariam comes a day or two later in the morning when I was doing
my meditation. I’ve been having some really heavy meditations lately, because I’m
going through, I guess, a particular doorway in my own initiation. She talks to me a
lot now about death and transition and being at large in the Ego, and the karmic
consequences to us of non-fulfillment of contract apply not only in our manifested
lives, but what we do when we are at large in the Ego. She says that Opposition and
Conflict are an Ego Boundary, but Process is Compliment and Cooperation. When
individuals are “at large in the Ego” and are not operating or processing themselves
to complement with others or in cooperation with others, penalties of conscience
arise. These penalties of Conscience are impregnated in the Mental Body, and are
then apportioned to you in reincarnation as part of the Mental Body that you access
in a manifestation. What appears to be complications in your life or oppositions or
conflicts can stem from these processes or processing that you did in between
manifestations. It can be handled both in manifestation, that is in an incarnation,
and in between incarnations.
So there are two things operating for us now as we progress along our
pathway of initiation. We have to consider not only what we do or don’t do in this
lifetime to build our space and maintain and fulfill our obligations, given that we do
or don’t want certain consequences to follow us into another incarnation. We also
must take into consideration what we’re going to do when we are between
incarnations.
As we reach that point of Specialization in any incarnation that brings us to
the threshold of transition we are given some options. I think that is what is
happening to me now, that I’m being given some options as to how I may or may not
deal with unfulfilled obligations during the processing period when “at large in the
Ego”. I can’t find a word to truly depict what I want to say. The nearest word I can
come up with is that I am being “compelled” from within myself to share this with
you because each of you, in your own lifetimes, will come to this same point when
your options will be before you.
For Edith to know, this is part of Frances’s consideration right now. She has
options to face, and she doesn’t want to face them. So she prolongs the manifestation
process rather than face what she has to face. Sooner or later she will have to accept
that it has to be faced.
If we reach this point in a state of mind of due consideration and willingness
to do what is necessary, and with the belief system that Life does continue, obviously
we are going to believe that we are going to be “at large in the Realm of Ego”. If you
don’t believe there is life after what we consider death. I think we certainly have had
enough proof of it in this circle that there is such a thing. For me, I know there is
because of the death experiences I’ve had. The penalties of not processing are
increased Conflict and Opposition. In other words, whatever walls you don’t
succeed in either going around, or over or dissipating, are going to be thicker and
higher in the Realm of Ego. Incarnation does not bring escape from that. While you
may not have them in incarnation, they await you in the Realm of Ego.
So, in effect, what they are saying to me, if I understand it correctly, there is
a “hell” of some kind, of our own making. We make it in manifestation, and we also
make it after manifestation. In my intellectual processes, in my educational
background, I relate this to the Catholic “purgatory”.
Then I said to the teachers, “Are you saying to me that is being caught in the
Astral Realm?” The answer was, “No. The Astral Realm catch is being unwilling to
be at large in the Realm of Ego and answer to that responsibility, and/or not
reaching Specialization before you attempt escape.” Suicide can result in being
caught in the Astral Realm, because you have not completed Specialization. Each
incarnation has a Specialization to achieve, and we know that when we reach that
saturation point it does not contain despair. Do you follow me?
Sidney:No. I didn’t catch that last point. (OK. At the end of your life, you reach
a saturation point. You either know Specialization or you know despair.)
Joni: Peace, or despair more commonly.
Sidney: And it’s probably a continuum. (Yes, it is.)
Edith: This might be peace. (Well, it’s not necessarily peace, but it is certainly
a confident willingness to move on. We often feel that without being at peace. We
know that there are challenges. We know that transition is not the absolution of
everything. It’s not the resolution of everything. It’s just simply part of the ongoing
process. They did not give us this before because they did not want to discourage us.
We are under Enid’s direction now, which is intensifying our initiation. You
are getting personal direction from her, and individual direction from her, that does
not require presence in the circle. You have all been accepted by her. Edie hasn’t
been through the ceremony, but she’s been accepted. The ceremony is only an
outward manifestation of avowal, and Edie will have her turn at that, but she’s
accepted, and already knows participation. It will get stronger and stronger and
stronger as time goes by.
Time is intensifying. One of the thoughts Sheariam introduced to me was
that we are aware that time seems to be speeding up. Yet we can’t relate that to a
24-hour-day. We know there are still 24 hours in the day. What is speeding up that
we are not aware of is our speeding through space. It’s not just the planetary
revolution or the planetary ellipse around the sun, but galactic upheavals. The
whole Universe is speeding up around its center.
That is what we are feeling. We are feeling that sense of being flung into
space. What is happening is that our solar system is moving towards the perimeter
of our galaxy. You know that the speed is faster on the rim of a wheel than it is at
the center. So as we move along this spoke toward the perimeter of our galaxy, our
solar system is ripping through space faster. It is happening in our lifetime. We are
getting closer and closer to the perimeter and farther and farther from the center,
so that the speed-up is faster.)
Jnana: More centrifugal force also. (Yes. It is the pressure that we are feeling,
and it is generating the fear that is causing drug addiction and all of the addictions
that are dependency kinds of addiction, because people are feeling inadequate to
deal with this kind of increasing pressure.)
Sidney: What is the fear of? Are we going to fall off the edge? (Yes. That is the
fear that we are. We are not, of course, but that is the fear.)
Edith: That is partly also why so many groups are meeting, and people are going
this way. (That’s true.)
Gloria: Conduction. We started to get this before, and somehow it got cut off
or diverted. Conduction is an Ego Boundary. It has to do not only with the way one
conducts one’s self, but your Conduction of the Life flow through the channel that
you are. We know that under the Law of Dominance, part of the exercise of
dominance is the shaping of the Life flow. In our incarnation, we shape it through
personality and character. That continues in the Realm of Ego, but more strongly.
We, as incarnates in earth life, have distinct separatenesses by virtue of the earth’s
form. You don’t have that separateness in the Realm of Ego. You only have your
“person-ness”, your Self-Consciousness, your Ratio of Volition to Consciousness to
maintain your integrity as an individual in the Realm of Ego. It is that “being at
large in the Realm of Ego” and the degree of Quantification of Quality that you
have achieved in your reach for Specialization in your incarnation that determines
how much of that integration can continue in the following or another life. If you
don’t integrate your life experience into a solid self-concept, self-image, you are at
the will of your Ego in being separated when you’re at large in the Realm of Ego. If
you have a mission, and you want to continue on that pathway, you have options to
exercise. You can integrate your personality and character so that it can’t be taken
apart and reapportioned to other entities in the Ego. The Ego must respect your
Integration.
Myra: And that depends on your Quality? (It depends on the Quantification of
your Quality, how together you are.)
The Ratio of Volition to Consciousness? (Yes. How much you exercise your
personal Volition. How well you make your space and maintain it.)
Which takes focus on your mission? (Right. They did not give us this before
because it is too fearful a thing to contemplate Disintegration.)
Sidney: I guess that must be part of what the bible talks about in terms of “eternal
life”. The integration is related to that, I would think, to some degree. So that each
lifetime you maintain integrity for integration, then at some point you can take that with
you beyond into other modes of existence perhaps.
Gloria: They showed me a darling little “helper”, I guess you might call it.
There was just no gender that I could determine. It draws pictures for me when
Sheariam is trying to teach me something. She draws holograms. They are three-
dimensional. The picture was a sphere which had wedges like we see a two-
dimensional picture of a pie that’s a graph of, say, your dollar. You are trying to
understand how much the government takes, discretionary income, etc, like in a pie-
chart. What she gave me is a sphere chart. It was transparent, and I could see the
boundaries of the wedges that went to make it up. Like a Chinese puzzle, it was
more nearly cone-shaped wedges so that the broad end of it formed the outside of
the sphere and went to a point at the center, not like an orange segment.
(Transcriber’s note: A solid angle.)
It is really difficult, sometimes, to describe in words things you see in your
mind and comprehend in your consciousness. The sphere shown to me was me. So
I’m not going to tell you what was what, but these wedges represented percentages
of, let’s say, achievement of Specialization. The degree of integration is determined
by these percentages of Specialization. We are all aware that we have certain basic
talents unique to ourselves. Some of us can teach, and some of us do art work, or
express ourselves in dance or painting, or composing music. Some of us are better at
relationships. Some of us are better at being alone. It is whatever goes to make up
your uniqueness.
All of these things are represented in a “wedge”. Depending on how well
integrated all these wedges are in this sphere determines which of those wedges are
removed and put in someone else’s sphere in the next incarnation. So it was like a
child’s game of “make the ball”. Pull a wedge out of this one and see if it fits there or
there. That’s how a new entity becomes born. All of these wedges from there and
here and here are put together.
Jenika: Are these then rejected? Are they the non-Specialized wedges? No, No.
Now, I’m not saying that this is so. I am only using this as an analogy. It’s like
Nixon’s life. There is a super statesman, wonderful at foreign policy. He has many,
many well-developed percentages. But there is a certain percent of him that does not
live up to the other percentages. He may reincarnate with the “tricky” part still in
place. Someone else’s analysis may be put there to help him understand that, while
his statesmanship, which has reached a high degree of specialization, is a big wedge
of someone else.
I also understand that the wedges can be separated. If a wedge is taken out of
the sphere and it is not integrated, it can be permanently removed and split up with
certain percentages of that wedge apportioned out. So we might end up with six
Nixon statesmen out of the one Nixon life.)
Sidney: So it’s not bad to be dis-integrated in a sense, in the fact that parts of you
are apportioned. (Whatever you do well continues.) It’s still with the Ego of which you
are a part. (That’s right.)
Jenika: But maybe not with you. The same Ego but different identities within the
ego. (That’s right.)
Sidney: But someone who has mastered and completed all things then maintains
that integrity. They have the same whatever it is. (Sheariam said that this is
demonstrated with the people who come in with full memory of where they were,
and who they were, and what their family was. They are a fully integrated sphere.
They haven’t lost any of their identity.)
Quite often those are people that just are really in a hurry to get back, though.
(Maybe that’s what enables them to come back quickly. If there is no “Nixon
match” to be made.)
Joni: They don’t have to be pulled apart and reassembled, so they can just come
back.
Myra: Oftentimes, it’s little children who remember, but when they get older
they don’t remember. Why would they forget?
Sidney: They tend to remember more in India than they do anywhere else, but
that’s encouraged. (The Law of Dominance and our cultural inhibitions cause us to
forget. It’s like the intuitive capacity of the mind is at 100% when you are born. By
the age of seven it is practically nil. Recent studies have shown that.
Jenika: So when you transition, parts of you that need to grow will be assisted by
maybe some “wedges” from someone else, or what you decide in your next incarnation is
best for you. Then you get some “wedges” to help you with that. Maybe some “wedges”
that you don’t need for that incarnation will be given.
Sidney: And you’re never given more than you can handle. (That’s right, because
there’s only so many Wedges that can make a sphere.)
Joni: The “wedges” must be of different sizes.
Jenika: That’s a good visual way, isn’t it? (I had never been given that before. I
had always had the Hindu concept of “umbrella”.)
Sidney: Well, in terms of what we talked about in Karma, and your relating it to
conscience, then one might draw the analogy that if at the conclusion, those people that
don’t have awareness, probably wouldn’t have karma. In other words, if an animal was
born into the world then kills other animals, there can be no karmic consequence. Only
that which has awareness that it is wrong to kill others would have a karmic consequence.
(The degree of consequence changes. There is consequence to everything, but the
greater the Ratio of Volition to Consciousness, the greater your obligation to “do the
right thing”. The greater that ratio, the more severe the consequences of
inappropriate action.)
So the more you know the difference between right and wrong, the greater the
consequences, the greater your awareness. (Yes. There is less consequence to the
innocent who murders than there is to the non-innocent who murders. The act is the
same. It is taking a life. It is doing something that our society says is wrong.)
Myra: What about the person who commits suicide? The person who commits
suicide would be filled with despair. (If the suicide is committed out of despair.
Remember that some people can end their lives as a means to go on. The Indians,
for instance, the ancient red man of North America, knows how to end his life
without terminal illness and without violence.)
Jnana: Willing his spirit to leave the body.
Jenika: Andmany of them did that when they were enslaved to work on the
railroad. (Yes. They just quit breathing.)
Myra: I was referring to the woman who shot herself and two daughters last
week. The agony she must have gone through prior to this decision to do this terrible
thing. Would you say that her next state would not be “at large in the Realm of Ego”?
She would be caught in the Astral Plane? (Maybe. I can’t get inside her heart. I don’t
know. But, yes, she could be.)
I knew her. I was in a group with her. She was a troubled soul.
Jenika: I thought the definition of a “fire planet” was where you come to work out
all these things, because it’s where you can fully manifest things. (A “fire planet”?)
Earth is supposedly a “fire planet”. Anyway, it is a place where things can be manifest
fully, a place for working out karma. (Sounds like the Law of Dominance planet.)
Sidney: Oh, all planets “earth”.
Jnana: It sounds like you’re saying that we’re working things out in the Realm of
Ego also. I was wondering how we work those things out. What sort of process do we go
through in the Realm of Ego, not in manifestation. No. It has more to do with
intermingling of the subtle bodies. As I mentioned, our incarnation here on earth
gives us a distinct separateness by our earth’s form. What we usually do not live in
awareness of is that our subtle bodies are all intermingled here. We are exchanging
our energies, the substance of which we are made is being interchanged at this point
in time. So we are having an impact on each other, not just by the look of our eyes
or the voice that we hear, but by the vibratory affect that we have on each other at
the subtle body level. When we shed this mortal coil and the Desire, Emotional and
Vital Bodes are “at large in the Ego”, then we have aware contact with each other
through the intermingling of the subtle bodies.)
Joni: Which is honest. There are no lies there, is that correct? No. There are
lies there. The Vital Body can be so thickened, so hardened, by what options are
exercised here, that processing is prohibited or inhibited in the Realm of Ego.)
Sidney: You mean they became so hardened because it was necessary to defend
the physical body? (Yes. Remember Silverthistle told us how the subtle bodies
thickened with anger, with fear, with guilt. All of these destructive emotions thicken
the subtle bodies. If they are not made liquid again, they continue into the Realm of
Ego in that hardened crustacean kind of condition.)
Jenika: So being stubborn? (That’s one of them.)
Myra: How about trust? You can soften it up with developing trust. (The trust
has to come from inside, though. If you take those hardened subtle bodies into the
Realm of Ego, all the love in the world is not going to dissolve them.)
It’s important to do it while we’re in this state. (That’s one of your options.)
That’s why we need to develop love and trust here so we can go there with “softened”
subtle bodies. (Yes.)
Sidney: Well, Judith or Sheariam very early on said that everything is basically
spherical in nature, so I would imagine that maybe seeing it with non-physical eyes,
maybe the beingness you were shown is an example of our actual nature. Of course it
exists right now, even though we’re solid, that we might be impacting each other, and
maybe even influencing wedges. We’re all one.
Myra: Everybody is Quantifying everybody else’s Quality this way?
Sidney: I think helping, yes, if we accept it.
Myra: This is the beauty of a group. This is the power of a group.
Betty: And it’s also in the purpose of the group. It’s not just for channeling.
Gloria; You realize that there could be people in the group that would never
get anything out of the group. It’s like a member of a family that has a traditional
belief system. No matter what direction the family goes, Uncle Alf is not going to
change his attitudes or change his habit patterns. He’s set in the mold like being set
in concrete. You can expose him to family impacts every day of his life, and you’re
not going to change his attitudes. If he has a bigotry towards a certain race or a
certain activity, or a certain belief, you can’t change that. Only he can change it. He
takes that with him into the Realm of Ego.
Joni: So that remains a rigidity that will be manifest in another personality of
that Ego?
Myra: Which he can work out in his next manifestation.
Sidney: That must be real frustrating because there’s no black people or Jews over
there. All that hate and nobody to take it out on. (So there you have Opposition and
Conflict without resolution.)
Jean: I have so many thoughts. I have to say what I’m thinking in order to know
what I know. The first thing was the need to get things together in this world. So I guess
doing it my way is OK. First, I had to know what is “my way” and make a choice.
(Exactly. Now you’ve got what I pounded and pounded on at every workshop,
Jean.)
There is the responsibility to see that my way is the right way. Then you get it all
together, and you specialize. When you get into this other realm, it’s all broken up. That
which is you is all scattered. Wow! Thinking has to change here. You think of yourself as
integrated, and that’s good. To be separated, that’s scary.
The next thought is that in our own experience there is a sponge. The sponge is
made up of a lot of little separate animals, and they make up into a sponge that has a
definite shape. You can break that sponge up into separate ones, put the pieces in a bowl,
and they grow together, re-unite to make another sponge in a new form. These living
sponges have to work together to grow. Thinking of disintegration in this way became
less frightening. In the cell there is unity, but there is also the larger unity of the total
picture there. (I’m glad that you brought that up, because as we talk about being “at
large in the Realm of Ego”, it’s a kind of sense of being there all alone, and you’re
not.)
Sidney: I wonder if you’re there with everybody else that shares your Ego? (Oh,
sure.)
Jenika: Did they give you any specifics on what you do when you’re “at large in
the Realm of Ego”? (I haven’t been given that yet. I’m giving it to you as fast as I’m
getting it.)
Edith: We’ve been told that nobody goes through transition until they are ready.
It seems that maybe you are ready, but they will give you days, weeks, months, if you
want to take that long. (They haven’t given us the lessons they have planned for us on
Time, Space and Motion. But Time is elastic. Time is elastic by Consciousness. You
can be aware of a long period of Time taking place experientially in seconds. On the
other hand, what takes maybe two or three hours may go by in a flash. It’s your
Consciousness of it.
Time is really an individual perception. We have a convention that we call
time, which relates to the annual trip of the earth around the sun, and the daily
rotation on its axis, but that’s a convention we have adopted as a measurement of
Time.)
But Frances will say, “You don’t go until your time.” In other words, I can’t go
because…. (That’s right. She’s putting it off because she doesn’t want to exercise her
option.)
Sidney: You don’t have to go until you want to.
Myra: Last Friday I went to a memorial service for a brilliant, wonderful 92-
year-old lady, who had wanted to die for two years. I sat next to her doctor and talked
about this. He said that nobody can go just because they want to. I told him that my
mother did. I told him how she had asked me, “Is it all right if I die?” And I had told her,
“Yes, Mom. It’s time for you to go.” And in thirty minutes she died. He said, “Well, that
was a coincidence.” He said that scientifically there is no proof that anybody can choose
when they are going to die.
Jean: I was with Aunt Dee when she died. Her nurse had told me how her
mother, just before she died, had regained consciousness and said, ‘Jesus is coming,” and
promptly expired. After I had been all night with my aunt, she finally regained
consciousness and asked some questions. I answered them. Then she said, “Oh, shit!” and
I thought you’re going to have to live long enough for me to tell you this is not the
password. (Laughter.) She did live long enough, and I told her. The next time she was in
the hospital, and I had taken time from my teaching to be with her, she regained
consciousness, and we had a nice conversation. She asked, “What time is it?” I said,
“Four o’clock.” She replied, “Oh, you’ve got to get home with your family. You’ve got
other responsibilities. Well let’s get this over with.” Those were her last words.
Myra: Just last week a famous newsman called the radio station to report, “It
won’t be long now,” just fifteen minutes before he died. So here is dying in
consciousness.
Betty: I have requested of the teachers before, I want not only to know how to
live, I also want to know how to die. (Well maybe that’s what all of this is leading up
to. They are taking sort of a different tack in the information that they are giving.)
Joni: It sounds like opportunities, too. So many opportunities for us to grow and
through this whole process in awareness. I don’t find it depressing.
Myra: It’s exciting. It’s really nice. It’s living.
Jean: Being closer to that point statistically, I find it very fascinating. (Laughter
and questions.) I would like to share an experience with you. Our very precious grandson
had a serious accident water skiing on Lake Washington about a month ago. He came
very close to becoming totally paralyzed from a neck injury. His superior physical
condition saved him. He’s now recovering but wears a neck brace. He had frequent
headaches which the doctor said would continue for several months. Friday he asked me
for help. I worked with his feet and helped him with some alpha state visualization. When
he came out, instead of feeling wonderful, he had numbness in his arms, which I realized
was due to fear.
So we asked for help. I had doubts about imposing my own way, and I also had
some fear. When we were finished, the headache was gone. It seemed wrong to implant
the idea that he would have to face pain for four months, when he could, with his own
mind, release the fear of pain. I told him to find out the lesson, accept it, experience it,
love it, and release it. You no longer need it because you know your lesson.(Well, the
thing that came to me, if he comes back to you for physical therapy, use the
Silverthistle techniques from the center of the back downward, along each leg. Then
you can conclude with a reflex in the feet. Paralysis results when those points are
blocked, so keeping those open will hold off paralysis and release the tension that is
causing the headaches.)
I did check with the pendulum. I got opposite indications on his two sides to begin
with, but the energy was normal when we were through. So I had some confirmation that
the blockage had changed and the energy was flowing correctly.
Betty: I learned something from Dr. Ray’s class. It is my belief that I saw the partner I
was working with essentially die on the table. He turned purple and stopped breathing.
What he recalled from a past life was a death experience. Dr. Ray confirmed that he had
had people quit breathing for as long as four or five minutes. When they were ready, they
came out of it and went on to progress. It seems like we deposit these in the carbon body,
and now I know it would be in the subtle bodies, too. If we didn’t learn what the fear was
connected to there, then perhaps it comes back harder this time. We have this built-in,
permeated through us. One way we can deal with it physically is with awe in our
emotions, sensations and everything. I have discovered that when you find a connection
to the whole thing, it seems like you peel off a layer. You may have to deal with it again.
It seemed like the more intensely they could go through it, the more the problem seemed
to be “burned out”. People came out of it totally different, and they could look at things
with a different perspective and realize why. Injuries that I’ve had in this lifetime, I can
connect to different injuries in different lifetimes coming up.
Jean: I was afraid of the great power available that I was trying to work with
without total knowledge. (But don’t you have any confidence in the teachers and in
your guides and those that help you? You don’t have sole control of that power.)
Betty: Your power is controlled by your intent.
Jnana: The intent was pure.
Betty: Jean is one of the few people I will allow to work on me with a crystal,
because that intensifies the intent. I won’t work with a crystal anymore, because my
Aquarius/Gemini mind goes all over the place.
Jean: This is so overwhelming. I’m in awe.
Betty: He couldn’t do it alone, and he came to you, and together you intensified
the experience, which I would find very frightening, but you just hang on since you know
you’re being guided, and you go with it. I think it is our intent and our taking
responsibility.
Gloria: Intent is tied directly to Volition. Remember that they told us the
reason we couldn’t manifest was because we couldn’t handle the fear or the shock of
being successful at manifestation? You’re having to deal with that very thing. The
better you deal with it, the more confidence you gain. I’m not suggesting that you
lose your awe. I think that is an essential ingredient to the use of such power. You
must remember the awesomeness. We don’t stick our finger in an electrical outlet
because we have a little awe about the power there. I think we have to keep that
awe, and we have to maintain a child-likeness. The more sophisticated we become
with this, and the more blasé we become with it, the more apt we are to misuse it
and cause serious consequences. So, I would rejoice in feeling that awe.
Myra: And then trust your High Self and your guides and his guides and his High
Self to channel it where it belongs and do its thing.
Jean: And it’s tied into Self-image. Why me? (Well, because you’ve been
chosen, and you want to integrate it, so that when you become “at large in the
Realm of Ego” you don’t lose it to someone else.)
Betty: Also, Jean when you get frightened, remember they have already said you
are practicing in the other realm as it is. So just think in terms of “hey, I’m pulling some
of this in.” When you’re fearful, think of how often we turn our responsibility for our
bodies over to somebody else, and our emotions and our belief system.
Gloria: Now any time you say, “You made me angry, well, happy, sad,” that is
a misstatement. We are laying it on the other guy.
On another subject, I have some news from Gayla (a Gloria protégé now living
in Redding, CA.) She has a group of five including herself that meet to study the
transcripts. Last week they had a unique experience where Sheariam came and
made her presence known through Gayla. It wasn’t channeling exactly. She called it
“linkage”. She linked with all five. She used Gayla as a spokesperson, promising
them that new material would be given to them as soon as they get all the way
through these transcripts. I asked if she taped it. She said, “No we didn’t expect
anything like that to happen.” So they are going to start taping their sessions and
transcribing, so we’ll all have transcripts from down there to share.
Jenika: They need something in Redding. (Well, they had me, but they weren’t
ready yet. Gayla said that when this happened, she felt like two people. There was a
part of her sitting in her chair, and there was a part of her standing beside, listening
to what the person in he chair was saying, but what was being said was not what she
was thinking, so it was a totally schizoid experience.)
Joni: I have the feeling that there are a lot of people who are hospitalized in
psychiatric institutions, who, in fact, just have difficulty remaining in the here and now,
but who are in communication. (I agree 100%. Some of my patients I can clearly
identify now as living in another life.)
And not able to cope in the carbon body life? (Well, they could cope, but other
people couldn’t. There was one lady who believed she was the Mother of the Earth.
In a way she was. She was the “mother” of the whole institution. She was a
wonderful person, but other people could not cope with her belief. You know, we
have to lock them up to protect ourselves.)
Sidney: But in the Orient they really respect the insane and call them holy men.
(And realize that they are special.)
Edith: You can almost relate that to yourself just a little bit, because when you
get deep into this kind of thing, there are other things in the world like the past and
gossip, etc. that you just don’t bother with. Relatives just practically reject you. (What’s
the matter with you that you don’t want to know what Aunt Silvia said to Uncle
Herb. I know.)
One of my sisters thinks I belong to a cult. She’s been watching television, and
she thinks that I’m going to have to be de-programmed one of these days. (Giggles.)
(Well if this is a cult, I’m sure going about it all wrong!) (Laughs.)
Betty: In a shamanism workshop, the teacher knew Jim Jones, who lived in
Guiana. She knew him when he started in San Francisco. She said he was marvelous, that
some of his work down there is still going on. There is no strife as there was to begin
with, but somewhere he got to the point where he felt controlled. He felt the higher
power, and he misused the power. (That’s when he moved into Redwood Valley, and
set up his plant there. I worked with his wife at the state hospital in Talmadge. She’s
an R.N., a nice person, and she was appalled at Jim’s change in personality. After he
moved to Guiana, my kids were poking around in the place that he had. The chicken
coops had been converted into individual cages, apparently for people.)
Betty: I would like to go over what we do immediately. It’s really hard to wait
for these official deals for Friday night. What would you feel about our having access to
tapes now, get a tape machine and just run them off? (As long as the changing of the
tapes does not interrupt the discourse.)
I thought we could get one of those speedy tape copiers, go with the system we
have, and then copy. (Oh, I don’t have any objection to your having copies of the
tapes. As far as that goes, as long as I never have to hear them, you can have copies
of the trance tapes.)
I would appreciate hearing how you interpret the teachings and what your
thoughts are on “open heartedness”. (I only can speak of my own personal opinion. My
opinion is that open-heartedness is a willingness to let people be where they are,
when they are, how they are. That doesn’t mean that I have to take them into my
space with open arms, but I am perfectly willing for them to be however they want
to be.)
Sidney: The term came up in the Friday night study group, but it seemed to apply
in that context to honesty of communication. (Non-judgmental. I really do not concern
myself with how people are, wherever they are in their Consciousness. What
concerns me is when they want to invade my space. I feel I have a right to protect
myself from any disturbance they might introduce into my space.)
Betty: And I have a great big “wedge” that doesn’t know where my space is.
Various cultures say I’m supposed to do various things.
Gloria: I look at all the “supposed to’s” and “shoulds” and “thou shalts” as
being outside my space. I believe that we have an obligation to establish our own
code of ethics, and to live by that. Remember that the lesson today was about the
consequences of action. Your code of ethics must incorporate cooperative action,
complementary beingness, or you are going to have Opposition and Conflict. So, if
you build walls of isolation in this life, you are going to have bigger walls of isolation
in the Realm of Ego. So you learn to formulate attitudes that enable you to approach
someone who troubles you, or allow them to approach you within a certain distance,
but not invasion.
Then, as you get comfortable with that person, you can allow more and more
contact. It’s learning to like. You see, the injunction is to “love thy neighbor”. But
you don’t have to like them. I can love a person for who and what they are, and I
can like that person in certain aspects, not necessarily all aspects. Perhaps I can
grow in attitudinal change and perhaps there can be growth in the other person, but
at this stage of “self-ness”, if our relationship is not complimentary and comfortable,
I do not have to let that person into my space. This is not a judgment that the other
person is wrong. They are right for their space. “Forgive them for they know not
what they do.” That other person may need to develop more personal insight to
understand his or her use of manipulation and dominance of others.
You see, one of the things we have established here is permission for each one
of us to be a part of it. None of us takes up the whole thing. Even I have learned to
keep my mouth shut!
Betty: Where does the responsibility start? The teachers have told us that, as I
understand it, occasionally we require discipline of each other. (That’s the “up-
frontness”. It takes confrontation in order to maintain your space. You have to be
honest with the other guy, or the other guy doesn’t know where you are coming
from.)
I’m having problems with this because my life reading said I came to learn how to
handle conflict and confrontation. (You have to learn how to confront without conflict.
You can state your stand without antagonism. There is always a way in which you
can get the other person informed of how you feel, what you think, where you are,
without causing conflict. Confronting someone doesn’t have to be a negative
experience.) Once a confrontation is entered, you also have to know that you are
firm in your stance. You have to be integrated. You must know that you are fearless
in your belief. If you are not, then a manipulative person turns it back on you, and
says, “Oh, it’s your fault. You are the guilty party. I’m not the transgressor.”)
Myra: But this putting blame on others is no way to dominate your space. (No.
That is not true confrontation.)
That’s name calling, really. (Yes, it’s manipulation. It’s abuse. When you
abuse somebody else, there are serious consequences, but to state where you are,
that is like saying, “I am Gloria”. There should be no animosity connected with my
stating that. There should not be any animosity in making the statement, “This is
my space, and I will not have it violated.”)
This is operating from open-heartedness? (Yes. If you are not open-hearted, you
are going to be entertaining fear and guilt. You can’t be open-hearted if you’re
fearful and guilt-ridden, because fear and guilt generate suspicion of the other guy
being guilty of what you are fearing.)
Jean: You’re saying that you can’t be open-hearted and at the same time have
fear and guilt?
Betty: Can’t we soften that a little bit by saying that we can be more open-
hearted, the less fear and guilt we have? (Sure. There are degrees. It’s not a black and
white situation ever, but if I’m afraid of your response when I think, “Betty, that’s
as close as I want you to come,” then I’m not going to say that. I’m going to let you
upset me, and I’m going to suffer, too, because it impacts us both.)
Jnana: You can maintain you space without fear and still have that person keep a
distance. (And still have it amicable.)
Betty: I have found oft times maintaining my space means removing myself from
the situation. (Very often that’s true. You’re not going to stand on the street with
someone rushing at you with a knife and say, “You cannot enter my space. I will not
allow you.” Discretion is often the better part of valor. If you know that a situation
is going to be so turbulent for your subtle bodies that you’re not going to be able to
maintain your integrity, then run like hell! You know, the word “cowardice” comes
from the Law of Dominance. We live in a culture that is highly competitive, and
therefore we condemn cowardice, but cowardice is an interpretation of an action.)
Sidney: It starts with the syllable “co” which means “together”. So maybe your
guide is just saying “Get the hell out of there!” (Laughter)
Gloria: What was the movie that Kenny Rogers played in about cowardice?
(“Coward of the County” was suggested.) The basic principle of it was that the father
was teaching the son that you meet life with gentleness. You really keep your space
and your cool when you realize that sticks and stones may break your bones, but
words will never hurt you. You really keep your space when you can handle other
people’s thoughts and opinions and stance without being guilt-ridden or fear-
ridden, apprehensive or antagonistic. When any of the negative emotions come in,
you know that you are not handling it well.
Myra: I have found that when I feel negative emotions, I stop myself and say, “I
don’t want to feel that way. I’m not going to think that.” And I’ll stop that thought. It
stops the feeling. (That’s right. Good. I say to myself, “Gloria, you can handle this
better.”)
Jean: When Dr. Butler said to me, “Jean, you don’t need to be defensive,” it
helped me a lot because it said, “I have faith that you can handle the situation.”
Myra: Knowing that, what did you do different?
Jean: If he had faith in me, I thought that I could handle it.
Myra: So it was your thought that made the difference.
Jean: Yes. But when you said that, I realized I was getting my value from
outside rather than from within. I think that is a characteristic of me..., that I have to have
outer confirmation, and that I find it hard to get the inner. That’s something I have to
work on.
Gloria: It’s something we all need. We are not going to reach that point of
total integration, that eighth key of Singularity, in any one lifetime, and possibly not
under the Law of Dominance. I don’t know. I haven’t been told. So we do need each
other. We do need the interaction of our subtle bodies as a supportive device. That’s
the value of a group like this, where you built the trust that you can be open in your
innermost thoughts, and find what out what the innermost thoughts of other people
are. You find out, “Gee I’m not the Lonesome Stranger. I’m no different than
someone else is. Everybody else is feeling the same thing I’m feeling.”
Myra: That’s why it’s so valuable to be willing to tell your secrets, the painful
things that hurt. (That’s right.)
Jean: That brings us to Johari’s Window again, a square, divided into four
sections, to measure our “openness”. This part you know, and I know this part you know
about me but I don’t know. Then there is this part I know about me that you don’t know,
and this whole part that neither one of us know. As we open any one of these, we change
all of them. The idea is to get the unknown part less and less. We do have to know this
part, what you know about me and I don’t know. I can never know exactly what the back
of my head looks like. (That’s part of open-heartedness, Betty, being able to listen to
what other people have to say and not internalize it emotionally until you deal with
it intellectually so that you don’t build up the Desire Body drives that obliterate all
the advances you have made.)
Betty: I have felt negativity in expressing my belief system, yet ultimately, it’s
our own truth we have to deal with. So, we can evaluate our beliefs in the light of the
negativity, and if it remains our truth, we have to be at peace within it.
Edith: Gloria, can you see down the road to September: (No. All I can say is
that the new edition of “Cosmic Consciousness, The High Way to Wholeness” is all
printed, except for the cover which can’t be done until the last minute. (Applause.)
The next step is the machine collating. Sidney and Edith are the only two that have
ever run the machine collater. I’m going to try to do that machine collating this
week, if I can work it in. Then will come the big assembly job which will be a group
effort. It will take at least two people for quality control, and a group of people to do
the assembly. I’ll clear the shop so that the whole book can be laid out for assembly.
I’ll start the telephone tree when everything is ready.)
Jnana: I expect to have “The Cosmic Connection” issue ready for printing next
weekend.
Edith: Last circle, you spoke about how you taught yourself to heal the disc
damaged when the fellow fell in through the skylight. Could you share that with us? (I
didn’t heal the disc, but I learned how to flex my spine so that when tension builds
up in those muscles and pushes it out of alignment and it becomes painful, I can flex
the spine, just like the chiropractor would put the pressure on it.) (Gloria
demonstrates sort of an undulating motion, raising her arms and arching her back.)
Did someone teach it to you or did you just intuit it? (Yes, I intuited it. I
experimented with it one time, and it popped and felt so good, that I learned to
repeat the process. It’s like cracking your knuckles.)
The rest of the session spoke to issues of Hadiki gardening, use and preservation of the
produce, etc.
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