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|
Session #136e - February 26, 1994
NETSOK FELLOWSHIP RETREAT -- QUEST FOR THE SACRED SELF
GLORIA: Alright, it's a matter of semantics perhaps. We're talking about Jean's
demise.
BETTY: Yeah, but it's even bigger things in that. I think its concept is
(something about Needs and Wants -- couldn't decipher)
GLORIA: But her children are always going to understand her needing them.
They're not going to understand this "wants" business. But what we're trying to help Jean
with is the issue of control. And you're the one that brought it up.
JEAN: What I have to do is change attitudes. And the Teacher answered the
question, "How do you live after 80?" She said, "Live as a child." And so, we've thought
about that for three years, and looked at things about living as a child. And one of them
is just taking everything, and being pleased and not aware of what it costs people.
GLORIA: But don't you understand that it's balancing of scales? How much have
you given to bring your children to the point of being able to give back to you? Now see
that's absent in your situation. So, the situation of the parent is different.
BETTY: But not even that situation -- other situations. I've seen other people
totally entangled. Going into a person's home and putting up with all kinds of verbal,
mental abuse. I've seen it happen and even experienced it with my father-in-law. This is
the case. And you know, why do we need to…
GLORIA: You didn't abuse your father-in-law.
BETTY: I did, I married his son. But, Jean, I think your doing it with the
valentines and everything. It might be even more concrete for the family to say to them,
"I want you in my life more, and I don't want to have to be sick."
GLORIA: That's what we're getting at, exactly. As Jean recognizes this
ownership of the idea that old age brings illness and becoming a burden that's not
resolved. That's a belief system. That's an old idea.
JEAN: I'm trying to not accept that.
GLORIA: No. Your journey now to create your miracle is to (JEAN: What do I
have to do?) Get rid of the idea, is what you have to do. If you didn't have that idea you
wouldn't even be thinking about it. You would just accept, "I'm going to be healthy and
happy, and my children and I are going to enjoy my old age." Instead you are saying, "I
want to control my environment. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be sick."
All of your affirmations are negative ones.
CLISTA: She says she wants to be like a little child. They are joyful and
bouncing. They're happy.
GAYLA: It's OK for her to be like a child now and be taken care of.
JEAN: And not to consider the cost.
GLORIA: Not consider the cost. You've already made the investment. You're
just accepting the return. Do you invest money and not accept the interest?
JEAN: That's one thing that holds me back -- considering the cost to them.
GLORIA: How much money have you spent on their education and their health
and their training and on the grandchildren? How many hours have you given to them?
How much have you got invested in them? You are entitled to a return.
BETTY: And besides that, if they had to help you financially, that would put
them on "poor street", right?
GLORIA: But that's not true in the realm of "All there is". It only becomes true in
reality if you own the idea.
(background conversations reached critical mass -- unintelligible)
JEAN: I know I'm taking a lot of time, but I think it's important for everyone.
(general expressions of agreement, I think) I just happen to be ahead of you. And also,
you're helping to write the book.
EDITH: You've got all kinds of justifications.
GAYLA: Jean, don't deny your children the right to the blessings of giving to
their mother. When you do all this other stuff, you're taking away from them something
that is a blessing in their lives. It helps them to grow and extend and be more.
BETTY: And if you want to get beyond that, affirm “I'm worthy of the highest
good.” So why not go for it? You give the kid a chance to pay back karma. That's OK.
But is that really all you're deserving of just to let them pay back karma? Are you not a
child of the Divine? And would not a child of the Divine deserve the highest and best and
to be provided for?
JEAN: I'm just going to take it in, and you go ahead -- it will take less time.
You'll get more ideas.
BETTY: Jean, did you hear what you said? You said, "I'm just going to take it
in". Feel that. All this is available to you. All you have to do is "take it in." You've got a
system set up. You've got people who love you. You've even built in an extra family
around you here. All you have to do is just take it in and do what you want. But I'll still
give you a bad time. OK? (laughter)
GLORIA: OK. Whose next?
JNANA: I think mine's relatively simple. I think I want to have more massages,
so I'm going to consider myself worthy of spending the time and the money to get what I
want.
GLORIA: OK. To you, then, having more massages is the quality of life you
want to improve on.
JEAN: Without feeling guilty. Feeling that it's OK. It's getting rid of old things,
you're so selfish. It's really hard to change all these attitudes.
GLORIA: Now, are you stating his idea of ownership?
JEAN: No, it's my feeling.
GLORIA: What idea is it that you own that has inhibited this activity before?
JEAN: That I'm selfish. (laughter)
JNANA: It was that it wasn't as high a priority as everything else, such as going
to work, teaching the Tai Chi classes, doing the music thing, being on the board at
church.
GLORIA: OK. So the ownership of the idea was that it is less important to serve
my own emotional and bodily needs than it is to be of service to others’ organizations.
(J: Yes.)
So the journey towards that miracle is rather evident and easy to determine. It may not be
so easy to walk.
JNANA: Just scheduling this is the challenge.
GLORIA: OK. The idea that you are trying to detach from then, is that all of
these other obligations take up too much time.
JNANA: I don't know if they take up too much time, but they all have to be done,
and they take up a certain quantity of time.
GLORIA: Which prohibit time, given that you're confined to a 24-hour day, and
time is not elastic, and therefore there is not time for this other thing. What you're saying
now is that you are going to create the miracle of time for yourself.
JEAN: And the time is now. It has to be now, because the future is..
BETTY: I heard, "I have to do".
GLORIA: Is there any Want in that "have", or is it...
JNANA: Oh, I'm enjoying all the things that I'm doing.
GLORIA: So it is what I want to do, not what I have to do. You're not compelled
to that. You know that you're doing it by choice, and that you can cut any one of those
out that you want to.
JNANA: I could, however, I don't see my quality of life would change by
decreasing the amount of service.
JEAN: And it's OK to enjoy.
BETTY: Whatever and everything.
(several undistinguishable comments and great hilarity. Apparently something to do with
marking one's boundaries with bear or other droppings. Ended when realized it was
being recorded, or at least slowed down. Boundaries, Inc. suggested; make fencing
obsolete. Question about maintenance.)
GLORIA: OK, let's get on with it. Who else would like to share?
PHYLLIS: Mine would be to get a more productive spiritual life going for myself,
and I've talked about the pattern that seems to encroach in a lot of areas in my life, which
is to try to do things perfectly. And in doing things perfectly and most practically, you
sort of amass and research lots of information. And then you churn it around and end up
not doing anything, or doing some little portion of what you set out to do, because you
can't be sure it's the right way to do it. And you don't want to waste your time doing the
not right way to do it, after all. And so that seems to happen a lot in my life. And I am
not pleased with my progress. It seems like I catch myself too too often coming out of a
place of non-spiritual awareness, and catching myself and saying what do you do when
you know that's not the way you want to think about this? That's not the way you want to
look at this.
So, we decided that the spirit of perfectionalism was rampant. Perfectionalism was the
result of not being good enough, so you have to be extra, extra good because you are so
lacking. And then we decided that it would be good perhaps just to do anything instead
of trying to find the "best" way, the most practical or most expeditious way of doing all
this. So try anything, and not have to make it perfect. And use the mantra, "A OK",
because of the meaning of those sounds according to the Teachers.
GLORIA: So what is the kernel idea that you own.
PHYLLIS: I must be perfect in all things? No. I don't have to be perfect in fixing
the car. That doesn't have value to me. I don't think I have to be perfect in all things.
GAYLA: How about “All things that you do must be perfect?”
PHYLLIS: Maybe so. And that extends to planning grocery shopping.
GAYLA: Think of the energy you expend to find out how to do it, that you could
put towards something more interesting.
GLORIA: So what is the quality of life that you want to incorporate? What
specific thing do you want to incorporate in your life that detaching yourself from the
ownership of this idea is going to enable you to do?
PHYLLIS: Perhaps just trust that whatever I end up doing is most probably
absolutely fine.
GLORIA: How does that make your quality of life enhanced?
PHYLLIS: It seems like it would free up a lot of energy, so that I'm not always
second guessing and weighing -- that constant "Can we do this better?"
GLORIA: The conservation of energy will increase the quality of your life.
PHYLLIS: I guess so, yes. It just seems that a lot of time and energy is spent on
things that ultimately may not be too meaningful.
GLORIA: And what will you do with the energy that you conserve -- the
meaningful things, such as?
PHYLLIS: The quest. Perhaps more time in meditation, more time in spiritual
reading, more time in spiritual practices. More quality personal time, yes.
GLORIA: OK. Who else?
KIM: I found that the areas that I was far below quality in is my living
conditions -- I feel dissatisfaction with them. The thought that I own that is creating this
dissatisfaction is that I don't choose a good idea, I give up my power and let somebody
else set this up. And so I feel dissatisfied. The truth is, I know I chose him, and actually
I do a pretty good job. I make real conscious decisions, and once I've made my choice
and feel a little dissatisfied, it was easier to try to blame. The feeling was that I gave
away my power. I forgot that I used my power to get what I wanted. When I got a little
uncomfortable with my choice, I thought maybe I gave away my power. And the truth
behind that is that I used to give away my power. And so it reminds me of how I used to
give away my power and how mad that really made me.
So I feel that what I really need to do is to forgive myself for giving away my power in
the past. But I don't really know how to forgive myself, I don't really know very much
about forgiveness. I have very little experience at this.
GLORIA: So we need then to help you find a journey to focus on self-
forgiveness. I think you have done a good job of isolating the idea that you own that is
causing the non-quality. So we just have to think about the journey for you. OK. And
you say you don't know anything about self-forgiveness.
Put yourself outside of yourself -- call yourself somebody else. Call yourself "me" right
now -- me, Gloria. And say that I made you angry because I represent your failure in
retaining your own power. How would you go about, knowing that that is true, how
would you go about forgiving me for that so that you could accept me intimately into
your mind?
KIM: Well, it seems like I just need to acknowledge that you are human and had
to have that experience so that you would know how to retain your power... and love
yourself and all your experiences because they make you who you are.
GLORIA: Exactly. What did we talk about yesterday? You cannot be angry at
yourself for what you have done in the past, because you did only what your
consciousness level allowed you to do. That's where your volition went. That's all you
need to do. So why be angry with yourself, because you were doing the best that you
could?
Now the thing with you, you intellectually say, "Yes, I know that". But how do you put it
in sight? How do you make that a part of your Desire Body and habit pattern? All right,
you do that just like some other people in the group have mentioned. They find
themselves falling into the old trap. It's just like training a child. You're dealing with a
3-year-old kid who refuses to be potty trained. Every time you get angry with yourself
and project it onto Jeff, your 3-year-old has crapped its pants. 3What would you do?
First of all, clean up the child. So the first thing you do is stop being angry, stop
projecting it. How do you not allow the trigger to be pushed anymore? How do you
potty train that 3-year-old? Does that give you some clues?
KIM: It seems like I'm realizing that I'm getting something from an old attitude,
and I'm raising the attitude to my current awareness. That will be a lot of reminding me...
GLORIA: Until you have a habit pattern of going to the proper place to discharge
the toxin. Because that is all baby is doing. The baby is cleansing its system. It just
chooses not to put it where you want it.
If you take the child to the potty long enough, it finally decides that "I don't want to go
through this anymore. I'll go to the pot in the first place, and then I'll get on with
whatever I want to do."
KIM: I'll grow tired of it, and I'll get it one day.
BETTY: And another way, especially if the child is moving up to 5 years old, the
other thing is clean up your own mess.
GLORIA: How do you tell your Emotional Body to clean up its own mess?
BETTY: You can look at it and say, "Oh, because I have exhausted myself, this
is the result. I don't want that result here. I need to do something else. As a result of this,
I've got to ...I've lost my energy, etc., and so I need to build back up my energy, and I
need to mend this fence or relationship. All this karma is the result of that “potty
training."
JNANA: You can visualize how you would ideally respond to the situation
before it happens, and so you get that picture and you have something to relate to when
the situation comes up.
GLORIA: That's a very good suggestion. Do some visualization. How are you
going to turn the expression of that force from anger to love. It's the same force; it's like
electricity. When I feel that anger rising, what can I do at that moment to change that
into love, what can I physically do? Write Jeff a love note, kiss the baby, appreciate
something that I have, rather than not appreciating what I don't like about what I have.
Instead of projecting that anger and toxin into, "I'm feeling cramped in my space",
expand your space by turning that toxin into a love act.
BETTY: Even before that, I think it is important to honor all the range in your
feelings, because sometimes anger gives motivation to move and do what we need to do.
GLORIA: But she doesn't need to express that anger in such a way that...
BETTY: But rather than to change it into love immediately, which to me would
deny it, is to look at the anger and say to it, "Thank you. What is the message?"
GLORIA: She's already done that.
BETTY: But I think you have to do it each time you feel it coming up. You have
to look at it and say, "OK. What is this anger for? Is this a hangover?"
GLORIA: I think that is all part of the process, and I don't think that anger can
ever rise in her consciousness again but she doesn't recognize where it comes from.
That's the process that we've been going through here -- identifying the idea that is
owned. And once you've identified something, you can't ever not identify it again.
BETTY: I can. (laughter) (GLORIA: That's denial.)
JEAN: As Kim was talking, I need to have clarified giving up power, and the
difference between power and control. When we were talking about me, it was about
control. But it really isn't giving up control, but giving up one's power. (Gloria
agreeing.) And there is a difference.
GLORIA: Yes, that's true. I'll give you an example of one way I handle that kind
of button pushing. It's with my mother. I think this is one of the blessings of the
experience that I have chosen. I will find myself getting very irritable -- things aren't
going right and I'm dropping things, I'm not finding things, and I'm getting doggone
umph umph. And I realize that it is nothing that she has said or done that is different
from anything else she has ever said or done. It's not her problem; it's my problem. I'm
the one that is dictating the quality of my life at that moment. So I have the POWER then
to change that. And I choose at that moment not to be impatient with myself. If I drop
something, I'll pick it up. If something doesn't work right, I'll either leave it to another
time when I'll be more efficient, or I slow down. I don't rush at life as I used to; I don't
force things out of my way. If there is something in my way, I move it.
But I try to always find at least one thing -- you know, count your blessings. I
APPRECIATE. For instance, "I appreciate the fact that my mother has this lovely large
house." What if I had to take care of her in a studio apartment? You see? I try that one
thing, that instant blessing kind of thing in my life, so that when the trigger is pushed, I
focus on the blessing and not allow myself to become irritated and react. And in that way
I'm beginning to modify the internal trigger, the ATTITUDE in my DESIRE BODY that
brought that irritation to the fore and has destroyed a lot of the quality in my life.
So I don't blow up as much as I used to. I don't get so angry with myself that I have to do
something to myself to make myself stop. So, it's just a case of constant reminder
recognizing that the button's been pushed, and you have the power to control it.
Otherwise you give the power to its controlling you. And you turn that energy around
into a positive expression. And APPRECIATION is one of the most empowered things
that you can do. And the Teachers have told us that.
BETTY: The question came to my mind: Is control an exterior thing, and power
an internal thing? (GLORIA: Yes.) Control is external and often depends on the
environment outside of you. Power is knowing where you are and what you want, what
you're capable of.
GLORIA: The whole reason we're here, to repeat once more what the Teachers
have told us, is to internalize the control, to become self-mastered and not try to control
our environment or give our power to its controlling us. (Ed. Note: Power is internal
control.)
BETTY: Depending on others and being sticky flypaper -- that's control.
GLORIA: It can be a control mechanism. It's not necessarily all the time control.
BETTY: And when we turn the external control inside, it can become power
rather than control. Now if I perceive things, if I can't physically change them, it's how I
perceive things. Change attitudes.
GLORIA: But the miracle is, as we change our ATTITUDES, we do change the
ENVIRONMENT.
BETTY: We have to change the weight on the totem pole.
GLORIA: Or the teeter-totter. My mother said to me the other day, "My
goodness, but you're a lot easier to live with than you used to be." (laughter) And I said,
"You know what, I was thinking the same thing about you." (more giggles)
So it works that way. You may struggle to the absolute utmost of your strength to control
your environment, and what happens is that it controls you, because you empower it with
your focus. When you internalize the control and control yourself, then the environment
complies with your wishes. It's magic.
BETTY: And the control can even be saying, "I allow myself to feel anger. I
allow myself to feel depression. I allow myself to do these things to honor the message,
and when I no longer want them, I will move them out."
GLORIA: Sure. That's exactly what happens. When you no longer want them,
you get rid of them.
BETTY: It's alright to have them too.
GLORIA: Well of course. Ownership is permissible.
BETTY: I think the more we push at it, the harder it pushes against us. GLORIA:
It does. That's why we're talking about ownership. We're not pushing against something
out here. We're talking about something inside of us, that attachment that we have to an
idea, to in this instance, an idea that is disempowering, that is costing us. You can
reverse this and do the same exercise about what I did that I own and empowers me. And
that is what we were going to get into later on.
But we wanted to create some magic here. I want you to have some tools to take away
with you to create magic in your own lives, and some awareness, some alertness to
recognize the miracles that are happening every day in your lives.
GAYLA: Some years ago I had a real difficult time with DEPRESSION, major
depression to the point of being hospitalized for a period of time. That's not a fun
experience when depression takes such a hold on your life. I use it because mine was
depression, but you can use it with anger or frustration. When this experience was back
under my control, I made the conscious decision that I no longer wanted this to be a
controlling part of my life as it had been for a long time. My way of dealing with that, it
was a tool I see now. I don't know where I learned it, but I got it from somewhere,
probably from Source.
When something would come up that would push that button of depression or
discouragement, I would consciously look at it and say, "OK, that deserves about 20
minutes." And I would wallow for 20 minutes, I mean I would set the timer at first. I
was really strict with myself. And I would just do whatever I felt like for 20 minutes.
And as soon as that 20 minutes was up, my control came back. I put it away, it was gone,
it was over with. And after a period of time, now, some things deserve a day, some
things deserve a minute -- you have to decide what the issue deserves. And then when
time went by with me doing this exercise, depression isn't an issue. It gradually dissolved
to where I didn't need it at all.
GLORIA: You dissolved the habit pattern.
GAYLA: Yes. But I couldn't kick it cold turkey. So she keeps saying things like
you have to honor these things, and it sounds like this might be something that would
help you dissolve the need to have that anger eventually. You don't have to do something
cold turkey. You can love yourself intuitively.
BETTY: I don't want to dissolve my anger. My anger serves a purpose.
GAYLA: I know you don't.
BETTY: Because anger serves us. It's biblical. The Teachers say anger is OK,
it's just when it controls us. But I'm saying is to honor it, rather than letting it get control,
let's honor it. And to me, from what you have said, you honored the depression. If you
had gone in deep and been able to pull out, would you have done all these other things to
learn to handle it, and now you can go on to the other polarity where you are out
spreading joy, which is just the opposite. Could you have done that if you hadn't had that
other experience, which to me is a great honor. What I'm saying is that all these feelings
are here. So, what you are doing is going around spreading this joy dust all around so
that clerks and others don't have to deal with it. And this is why I'm saying, I think each
emotion should be honored: what is the message I'm bringing, or what is the payoff? Or,
where am I in this relationship? And look at the whole thing. And say, "OK, I'm going
to give myself 15 minutes for this", because I think the more we push against it, the more
it's like holding it down. But if we honor and look at it, and let it be and use it again, we
can say "thank you" (to the emotion).
GAYLA: I also maintain the control instead of giving control to the issue by
doing it.
BETTY: If we ever live a life which is all joy and roses, how can we appreciate
roses if we haven't smelled the manure? Michael is not going to let you...
GLORIA: There will never be a challenge overcome that there won't be one right
in front of you…
BETTY: 99 times out of 100 these marriages that I've seen that are all just
absolutely perfect, quite often that is because one person is in total denial.
GLORIA: Or totally out of it. The married couple that says to me, "We never
have a disagreement", I say to them, "You're not interested in what each other knows, or
thinks, or is, because you are two individuals." No two people can live side by side and
never disagree. There is something that you will disagree on.
And it is OK not to understand. It doesn't matter whether I understand what is happening
with you or not. If in some way I can mirror something to you, if I could bring
something through to you, it doesn't matter whether I understand. And I don't have to be
concerned about not understanding. It doesn't matter. My joy is in sharing the energy,
and my gratification is in watching you grow. And if you can develop that kind of
attitude towards some of the issues in your life, you will find that it helps. It's not
necessary to understand; it's OK not to understand. It's not OK not to deal with it.
JEAN: You mean not to deal with the issue?
GLORIA: Or the feeling, or the emotion.
(break for Sunday lunch)
GLORIA: I know when an important event is occurring because it starts to rain.
That isn't to say that it happens every time it rains, but the fact that we have had first
snow, then clearing, and it's only just now beginning to rain, validates for me -- it's a sign
- - that this week end has been a success. Whether I ever see the success or not isn't
important; it's validated to me, and I'm satisfied.
GAYLA: It's certainly been a blessing to me.
OWEN: The deer were a nice little bonus too. (agreement)
GLORIA: OK. We need to wind this up now. From the aspect of how can I help
you with your empowered thinking. And you might start by saying, and this will serve
you as much as it will serve the group, "What did you get out of the weekend?" “Where
are you now that you weren't Friday morning?”
SIDNEY: Well, I think that first of all I realize just how much I, and in fact all of
us, think instinctually that when a problem is first presented to us, I notice that our first
response is, "How do I solve that problem?" Then over the course of the weekend I
began to think personally that it's not just me alone. 3I have my whatever you want to
call it to assist. So now I'm beginning to think, "There is a problem that needs a
solution", not "how can I solve the problem?" And then to call upon higher guidance and
higher powers to assist in the solution of the problem. Which makes it a whole lot less
work.
GLORIA: Perfect. That is EMPOWERED THINKING. That is empowered
thinking -- standing back and not being the problem or standing in your own way of
solution. So that's wonderful.
LEN: I've had this problem for some time -- deep seated anger. Certain things
that I hear or see or read trigger this thing. Before I came here this weekend, it was
something that happened just like (snapped fingers). It's almost as though I have no
controls -- it's that fast. This energy is in the same area that sensitive people are; it
becomes almost damaging. I was told about it a couple of times. I understand that. But
that's as far as it went. But it wasn't in any emotional area where I understood it until this
weekend. Things that I can't even remember, just little things that you said here and there
or others have said -- a little flicker here, a picture of a concept. I put all these things
together, and I feel like now when I see or read or hear these same things, they will not
produce the same response at all. I can say, "Now wait a minute. I used to do that, but I
don't do that anymore." I have control over the situation now. I changed that around. It
was even affecting my health.
GLORIA: Science already knows that anger produces chemicals in the brain that
are poisonous to the system. They've also discovered that by simply having a patient
sing, whether the patient feels like singing or not, but just singing, produces chemicals,
endorphins and other types of electrical passages in the synapses that create health.
Where a disability existed before, it's like magic --it's not there, I can't find it. I watched
something on TV the other night -- these scientists who were reviewing this research and
were telling where they were in the process of their research. And I thought, "Gee. I
could have told you that a long time ago," in my arrogant stance. But I think it is
wonderful for people who need to know the why's and the wherefore's and the
measurabilities of something that we are gaining that knowledge to take the superstition
out of what we know as true. So your health is going to improve when you no longer
behave on that spark of anger, but turn that behavior around, and the anger doesn't have a
chance to create poisons in you.
LEN: I was asking desperately there to let it flow into me. (GLORIA:
Wonderful.)
GAYLA: Well, I appreciate the things that I have learned here, so many
blessings. Starting right off, getting married. But understanding my health issues more,
and also just realizing that his anger (Len's) that affects his health also affects my health,
which makes it more difficult or more challenging for me, because I'm using my energy
not only for healing my own body but for resisting his anger, which is not directed at me
but overflows onto me. And so I spent a good deal of my energy, especially in the last
three months when he's been out of work at home a lot, putting up a protection barrier
against the overflow of his anger towards things. So now I can put all that energy, and
I'm already making major strides -- I can't tell you how much better I feel than yesterday.
Yesterday I didn't think I was going to get through the evening. Several times I almost
got up and left because I was feeling so ill. And gee, I feel great. And it also makes me
appreciate the great day. So, thank you all.
GLORIA: Anybody else experience a breakthrough or healing, or need some help
with empowered thinking?
KIM: I talked a lot about staying connected to the Sacred Self. I think I have a
grasp on it. I would like it if you would expand on how we go about staying connected.
GLORIA: I'll be glad to do that. Owen had asked me a question earlier which I
might share my answer to him with the rest of you. Before we do that, I would like to
hear from more of you, so that I have some grasp of where you are, or affirmation to me
if what I see is true.
KIM: I feel three major areas in my life which this weekend has helped me put
together. I'm not 100% filled up, but I got what I came for. Especially that wearing
thing, like I have that attitude towards my mother, that affects my energy. And I've been
thinking --this is draining my energy, and I'm really tired of it. But now that I can see it
more clearly, I can also see the way to light and get out of that.
GLORIA: That's wonderful. That touches a bonding that's been there since birth
and before, and that's tremendously important. That's going to help you as you perform
your function as a mother in bonding with Rachel.
BETTY: To me there was a great emphasis on the hologram that we all are.
There was not one person that shared a personal problem that I could not identify with
some portion of it. Each one builds the other. The sharing has been invaluable.
GLORIA: This is why "retreating" is so important. It's why I say we must when
we do this in order to get the optimum value out of it, we need to get away from what we
are usually in. We need to get to a place where we create an environment in which we
are the family, and there are not the extraneous distractions that are usual in a family's
daily life. So retreat, getting away from, is terribly important. It's terribly important that
we sleep under the same roof, and we've found that before when we have not done that,
whenever there has been a rift in our ranks, when somebody has gone out into the public
and come back again, it has brought distress, distraction, disruption. But when we all get
together and we create this family and we create this energy, it stays with us from the
time we begin building it until the time we leave this geographical area, and we take all
of that family and that force and empowerment off with us individually. So we are
bigger, better, stronger when we leave to go back to deal with the daily lives. People have
said, "I don't see why you can’t just do this here, and I can go home at night and take care
of things." But the value is in being a family and creating an intimacy, a mutual trust.
Everyone doesn't have to share here -- only if they want to.Part of that "allowing faith".
Remember the four points: giving up the need to be right, allowing faith, giving up
ownership of the idea, and it's OK not to understand.
OK. Let's talk about the SACRED SELF, which is something newly introduced to you
and not something that has come through the sessions with very much emphasis. It has
become a very emphatic part of my life during this last period of time since the debacle at
Hadiki House in Salem. I climbed down off the mountain because I wanted to be
accepted, and I felt at that time that, yep, I did it again. I opened myself up. I asked
people to accept me, and all I found was rejection. So that's when I withdrew. I spent
less and less time with you. I disallowed communication. I refused to obey the
commands of the Teachers -- they don't command, I shouldn't say it that way. I feel like
their requests are commands. I'm sure they don't ask me to do something that is not in
everybody's best interest.
But I had to go through that two or three years of healing process, and make my way
back up the mountain, and be comfortable there and understand what it was I was trying
to do in choosing to come down off the mountain. And I'm OK with that now. I've had a
great period of growth and understanding, and during that period of time they explained
to me about the Sacred Self.
Now, the dream I had at Salem after that very traumatic emotional experience, was that I
was standing on a bluff, and this tree was growing from the ground up the side of the
bluff so that the top of the tree extended beyond the bluff, so that as I stood on the bluff, I
could climb onto the trunk of the tree and climb down the tree to the valley floor below.
There, as I went down, I was aware of something above me coming down with me, and I
said to myself, "That was Source." But it was only one being, and I am aware of Source
as many beings. But at that time I didn't know what it was. I just knew that it was an
important part of me and mine and we and us.
When I got down to the floor of the valley, I found that I was on the playing field of a
boy's school, like a parochial school or something. I knew that if the boys became aware
of us being there, that we would be very severely attacked, persecuted, maybe even
murdered, that it was a life and death struggle here, and I had to remain invisible. But I
had a problem. I was wearing a gown that was more than floor length. I was having
trouble stepping on its hem, and it was made out of like a silver lame', but it was crimped
roughly, more like a silver taffeta, or something. Every time I moved, it made a sound.
And I knew that I had to move very, very carefully, because if the boys heard the sound
of my gown, they would know I was there, and they would see me, and we would be
attacked and perhaps destroyed. So somehow or other we managed to make our way
across this playing field, and the boys didn't see us. And we made our way into the gym
and into the dressing area, which was comprised of little cubby holes like two dressing
rooms on either side of a shower and no doors. And there were rows of those. When the
boys came in to take their showers from the ball field, this being with me and I had to
hide behind these walls of the dressing rooms. We had to be careful and select a cubical
that wasn't going to be entered right away. And when we heard someone coming, we had
to slip through and go around the other side. And we were successful in doing that. And
that was the end of the dream.
And somewhere somehow down the line I hadn't finished the dream in my consciousness.
So first I had to understand the dream. That's when I began to understand that this
beingness that had climbed down the tree with me was my SACRED SELF, because I
can't go anyplace without it. It is a part of me, but it is always above me. And no matter
how far down I go, it goes with me staying always above me. But it is subject to
anything I am subject to. If I get destroyed, it gets destroyed, not in its totality, but in
some part of it, whatever part of it is attached to me.
So, as I worked through these two or three years of healing and climbing back up the
mountain, I have come to understand that the SACRED SELF is spawned, if you will, by
the SOUL BODY, and it functions most fully in the REALM OF EGO, but its lower
CHAKRAS attach to us as our upper chakras, like its lower three match with our upper
three. Counting Heart, Power, and Third Eye as the three -- not the Crown Chakra. The
Crown Chakra is like linked to its crown chakra somehow. And I think that has to do
with the ROD. It is the beingness that carries the Rod and is the life-giving urgency of
the subtle bodies to incarnate. And there is always one sacred self for all of the "me's"
that are incarnate at any given place at any given time. Are you understanding what I'm
saying?
OK. I'm going to do a "Jean" for you. Let's say, here is the Sacred Self spawned by the
Realm of Soul. It functions in the Realm of Ego, and then off of itself it spawns the
ENTITIES that become PERSONALITIES in all these different REALMS of SELF -- all
of these different DIMENSIONS of the Self Realm -- I'll just put it that way. Do you
understand that?
GAYLA: Like what some people might call the "OVERSOUL".
GLORIA: Many people call this the Oversoul.
OWEN: Are you talking about the Ego?
GLORIA: The Ego is a part of the Sacred Self. The Sacred Self is spawned by
the Realm of Soul, it functions in the Ego Realm.
OWEN: What is the "oversoul" equivalent to?
GLORIA: Oh, I think that would be equal to that "Super Ego" of Freud, perhaps.
It is the actual functioning body of the Sacred Self in the Realm of Ego. (OWEN: Super
Ego is.) Yes.
OK, say that you're in Sandalphon, and I'm in Haniel, and we share the same SACRED
SELF. OK, the lower POWER CENTERS of the SACRED SELF match up with the
upper power centers of the Personality, so there is no overlapping left out. So you make
contact with your SACRED SELF from your heart chakra, from your power chakra, from
your third eye. But there is the Rod that goes all the way -- OK, let's take this ink barrel
as the rod that goes up to the pen, also goes all the way up through and joins in the Soul
Realm the one Rod that the Soul has created.
GAYLA: It looks to me as though Owen needs to make a new chart.
KIM: You have the Rod that goes from the Personality level, through the
SACRED SELF, to the Soul level.
GLORIA: Right. From the Realm of Ego, into the Realm of Soul. Whether or
not that Rod continues on with the identity of the Personality beyond that, they haven't
told me.
SIDNEY: Does the Sacred Self have more than seven of us selves, one in each
dimension? (GLORIA: Oh yes.) Are there more than one of us in this dimension?
(GLORIA: Yes, there can be.)
OWEN: When you said "this dimension" you meant... (SIDNEY: The Realm of
Dominance.) I was wondering about the selves in other dimensions.
GLORIA: OK. A Self in another DIMENSION might be under another Law, but
there might be other Selves under the Law of Michael in another dimension. We're
talking here about different kinds of dimensions. If we're talking about "under the Law
of Michael", we're talking not only about height, width, and breadth, we're talking about
time and space and force -- physical force -- what moves the thing off of the shelf for
you. It might be psycho-kinetic force. But that is a physical force, like electricity is a
physical force, it's not metaphysical. (OWEN: It could be a different form also.) Yes.
So if we take all of these kinds of dimensions that we can grasp, and transplant them into
another dimension of realm-type dimension, they might measure differently. We can see
things 3-dimensionally with no problem. To see things in Fourth and Fifth Dimension
poses a challenge to a lot of people. We live -- those of us here in this room for instance -
- live a great deal in the Fourth and Fifth Dimension of our beings, and we take it for
granted. We recognize Emotions as being real and as being physical and as having force.
And some people say, "Oh, that's just the way she feels", and discount that as an
important dimension of being.
OWEN: When you said "fourth and fifth dimensions", what are you speaking
of?
GLORIA: I don't know what label we might put on them.
OWEN: The label usually given to the "fourth dimension" is time.
GLORIA: All right. We don't know whether Time and Space are the same thing
or not, because the Teachers never got around to their teaching us about it. Time and
Motion they were going to tell us about. But they did give us some clues. (checking the
charts)
OK. I think this chart here gives us a lot of clues. They give us "Ego Boundaries", and
some of these could be dimensions in some other reality. OK, in talking about Time and
Motion, "conduction", for instance, is a word that is used by a lady called Betty White in
the channeled books by White, where she talks about "we don't have Time over here, but
we have Conduction". And then the Teachers tell us, Conduction is an Ego Boundary,
but they never got around to having the opportunity to describe that to us. They have
given us clues -- they have given us stuff to work with.
To me, what we consider our three-dimensional world incorporates time and space,
because we equate time and space in three dimensions.When we talk about the
FOURTH DIMENSION, to me that is the RATIO OF VOLITION TO
CONSCIOUSNESS. It's that dimension of capability of doing in accordance with the
degree of awareness that we currently have developed.OK, I think that in that
dimension, or maybe the one next to it, is where the forces can congregate that are unable
to go on and be reincarnated, like the Astral Plane where unfinished business is held until
our regular three-dimensional world presents the opportunity for it to be concluded. Does
that help you understand?
That is my concept from what they told me. I don't know that I have "the" answer. I'm
saying how I deal with it.
LEN: What dimensions did you relate that to?
GLORIA: Either the Fifth or Sixth.
LEN: Well, I could say from my experience that when I asked about that,
working with my energies, there are also other things that they'd show me. The Fifth
Dimension was shown, but it was shown in a symbolic terms, I'd guess you'd say. It was
shown as a continuation of globes -- where we're at and second, third, fourth, fifth ad
infinitum. And I was connected to this one by a rope. And I would jump out this
window and I went to the Fifth Dimension, and this is how they got me there.
When I landed there I saw gargoyles and half-man half-beast things and stuff I couldn't
begin to describe. It was dark, not black, but dark. It was almost threatening, to a swamp
or something. I walked on. It was kind of like the bright side and dark side of the moon.
The other side was almost like cartoon land -- I couldn't hardly describe that either. It
was chaotic -- it wasn't really funny, just chaotic.
GLORIA: But that could have been how your perception of it interprets what you
witness. Someone else might see that quite differently. (Len agreeing.) But I don't think
that deviates that far from what I was saying was my perception of it.
***GAYLA: No. I think that's what triggered it, because I haven't really talked
about that for a long time. It happened this year totally in a waking state, they took him
on this trip to show him what it was like, and it was amazing. Because when you said
that, I remember too what he saw.
GLORIA: I think that those of you that remember dreams remember visiting those
other dimensions. You may not be in any higher realm at all -- you may just be in
another dimension of this reality. But don't limit your concept of Dreams to that, because
your dreams are also a vehicle to visit other realities, other realities in which you exist.
EDITH: You were talking about these two personalities in your little
demonstration here, one would be Michael and one would be another, how do we
determine which one we are?
GLORIA: Is it important that we understand? All we know is this personality. I
know Gloria very well, and I know that Gloria is incarnate under Michael. It's not
important to me that I know of another dimension in which I exist. But I don't have to
know what law that is under. I don't even have to know that it may even be another
dimension under Michael.
EDITH: It's not important to us to know whether we're under Ratziel or
Sandalphon or another?
GLORIA: No. It's OK to not understand.
BETTY: I was under the impression that here on Earth, we were all working with
the Law of Dominance.
GLORIA: We are, here on the Earth. But this Earth that we know also has other
dimensions that we don't know. (Faint comment by Betty) Why would that be the case
then if it is not also good for us? If they tell us that we exist in other dimensions that are
under other laws, then Earth could also exist under other dimensions and under other
laws. It might not be known as "Earth".
OWEN: Was Richard's partner... GLORIA: The alchemist was under the Law of
Michael, because he was attempting to dominate elements. He was trying to tell lead to
become gold, and he was terribly frustrated by that, so he decided to destroy himself.
And Richard accepted that self-destructive idea, and set up the alchemy to destroy the
body that he was occupying.
OWEN: But this other individual was part of the same self in another dimension
under the Law of Michael, but it would also have the same Sacred Self -- is that right?
GLORIA: You know that your Self, this Personality that you know is often at war
with itself. You have all kinds of faces to this personality within you. You know that
you put one face on when you do one thing, and you put another face on when you do
something else and on and on and on. So if you can accept the fact that you are multi-
dimensional just in that three-dimensional self, how many more dimensions there are in
your multi-multi-dimensional self? And they can be at war with each other. So you
begin to see the tremendous flow of which you are a part, and how important it is for at
least this part over which you have some command is at peace with itself, because when
it is not at peace with itself, it causes other disorientations and diseases and discomforts.
So we owe ourselves, all of ourselves.
OWEN: We've learned that if we do our meditations right, particularly at the
well, we can meet our own spirit guides. They are very important to us. We have been
given the functions of the different subtle bodies and their importance to us. How do we
best communicate or what extra effort communication would be necessary to be in tune
with our Sacred Self?
GLORIA: Not as much effort as to be in tune with Source, because your Source
may or may not be part of your own Sacred Self. There are members of your Source that
are part of other Sacred Selves. They come and go. So it is easier because you have a
direct connection, you have a direct chakra connection with Sacred Self.
EDITH: Is this a general question period?
GLORIA: Yes. We are closing up. If I can help you with empowered thinking,
that is my purpose for this part of our weekend, but it is also closure. If there is
something you feel is unfinished, we need to know about it so we can bring this together
and you can leave here feeling complete.
EDITH: What is "closure"?
GLORIA: A feeling of completion. If you allow someone to leave this physical
body and go on about their business, and you have left something unsaid, a kiss ungiven,
a complement undemonstrated, you may not feel CLOSURE. You may feel bereft and
angry that the person got away before you had a chance to finish with him. It is also
important in our traditional thinking that we've been programmed to do something with
the body that the other person has left so that we can reach closure, that we can reach
completion, that we can feel the finish.
If for instance a child is kidnapped, and you never ever get that child back or its body
back to dispose of according to your belief system -- whether you want to bury it or
whatever -- you never feel closure. You never feel at peace or at rest with the end of that
child's life, because you don't know what that end was.
And if a person dies (DYING, DETACHMENT) before they have finished, then they
may be very restless and they may be totally unwilling to go through the tunnel and pick
up the light. Then they hang around and hang around and hang around. On the other
hand, if a grieving widow or widower does not take up his life and bring closure and get
on with a completeness in life, then the partner feels obligated to wait and stay and hang
around and not take up his life until you are comforted or complete or you have found
that closure.
If you have a child that dies young, you feel as though you have been cheated out of the
rearing of that child, the growing up of that child, the knowing of that child as an adult,
the growing old with that child. If you don't go through the emotional purging of anger
and grief and all of the things that you have to go through to bring closure for the
departure of that entity, then all your life you are keeping contact with that entity. It may
struggle to get away from you, or it may feel compelled to stay with you. It is just as
human after it sheds its body as it was before.
BETTY: Two thoughts come to mind. Our process of dying where so many are
hooked up to tubes and kept artificially alive, and the doctors are listening and working
over the bodies, determining the exact moment of death, because that is important to put
down on a piece of paper. It occurs to me not even that can really -- I mean even how
we treat that moment of death can foul up the system.
GLORIA: It does. That's why I have a living will and why everyone in my family
knows that they must not dial 911. I don't care what situation exists, they are not to dial
911.
BETTY: Now the other question. I guess I need a confirmation, that even though
a person has died, things can still be dealt with and closed and tidied up a bit. (GLORIA:
Oh, sure.) While if the person has gone on has things that they haven't finished up in the
relationship, can that hang on the one that's left?
GLORIA: Until the one that is left does something about it. The person that is in
that limbo has less power than the person that is left behind. My grandmother did not
want to leave this world. She clung to it as any Cancer can possibly cling to anything.
The home that she lived in almost the last 50 years of her life, she not only helped her
husband build, she designed it. She went out one day and talked to the owner of this plot
of ground and made arrangements to buy this piece of property at $5 a payment whenever
she could get $5 together. And it wasn't until she had the payments almost all made that
she told Grandpa she had done this. And then she showed him the design for the house,
and they went and built it. The house was built on piles of bricks -- that was what the
foundation was. Of course, that was the code. So when she died, a new foundation had
to be put under the house. We thought at first that the cupboard doors wouldn't stay shut,
because the house needed a new foundation.
Well, we put a new foundation under it, and the cupboard doors still wouldn't stay shut.
Open windows would close. When we began to see closed windows open, because
Grandma always slept with an open window, we began to realize that Grandma was
having trouble leaving the house. And no matter what we did with the house, it would
never work. I said to my mother, "You've got to let me put up the pictures, because every
time you put up the pictures, they fall down." And it wasn't that at all. Grandma was
throwing them on the floor because they weren't her pictures. They weren't the kind she
wanted on her walls. She didn't want anybody decorating her house, and putting food in
her refrigerator, or new dishes in her cupboards, or painting her furniture, or anything.
She had a very hard time leaving that house, very hard.
We began to take things out of it. The house was full of a lot of furniture Dad had
brought over from Ireland -- very old, came over with the early immigrants. We began to
take that out and to break up those ties, to gather the energies where she didn't have as
much power, in hopes that she would get tired of this pretty soon and look elsewhere.
And I had the two throne chairs -- Myra would remember the throne chairs that I had on
Concord St. at Thresholds House. And I also have a little settee set that belonged to her
that were in her dressing room -- a love seat and a rocker and a straight chair that ladies
of the old days had.
And I sat in that one day there at Thresholds House and asked Grandma if it was all right
if I sold it. So far we had only given things away, and I thought, "Maybe if I sell things,
she will be more appeased". And this was 3 or 4 years after she died, and I asked and I
asked and I asked, and I couldn't call her up, I couldn't bring her to me like I had been
used to. And I thought, "Well, she's gone". And in the moment that I thought she's gone,
I could see her walking down the sidewalk along a park dressed as she dressed when she
was a belle in San Francisco around the turn of the century when her bustle swam and her
big hat -- she was just a-goin' along and having a good time. She was telling me that she
was OK with this now. And I sold the furniture and had no problems. So she said, "Yes.
You can sell my property. It's not mine anymore. I've got other things to do." And the
only time that I have really heard from her since then, I came home from work one day,
and the house was full of her smells. During the latter part of her life -- cancer has a
smell to it, and she was a great one for lavender and Lifeboy soap, and Lifeboy has a
strong pungent odor and so does lavender. So you mix those together and you've got my
Grandmother's smell, and my house was permeated with it, so I knew that she had been
there. And I really haven't had any heavy, heavy signs of her presence since then.
But I think you have to take some action sometimes -- do something that is going to
convince them that the energy is scattered, that they no more have anything to be attached
to. But if you give them emotion to attach to, they love that.
EDITH: Maybe I shouldn't bring this up -- there's a mobile home park just off I-
205 near Clackamas. It's a new one -- been there only 5 years. Beautiful, large double
wide, lawns, landscaped, beautiful place. People are having trouble with ghosts. Things
fall off. They see ghosts walking around, not just one but quite a few people are (seeing
them). Somehow they got the idea that there was a burial ground under one of the mobile
homes, and some of the people are making an effort to find some records that will
substantiate this.
GLORIA: We don't know how much of our current modern buildings are on old
Indian burial sites. Shasta College in Redding is built over an Indian burial site, and
some of the students housing there have a real bad time.
OWEN: What is the importance of burial sites? They tell us that we leave the
carcass, we put it in the ground and recycle it.
GLORIA: To us, none, but to the Indian tradition. All of the force of the tribal
thought is focused there. It is not actually the beings that are buried there, it is the tribal
thought form.
OWEN: OK. This implies then that focused thought form can make a reality
that is unique to them and only something that is constructed by those human beings. By
the same token then, any other religion that has a focused thought on a particular concept,
why they produce that concept. We can't say they are wrong, because they have actually
produced it.
GLORIA: That's right. I suggest to you that the next time you have an
opportunity to walk through a military cemetery where all those white crosses are in a
row, walk through there and see if you don't pick up on the military aspect, feel the
thought form of the military that is imbued in that place. It's not the men that are buried
there, or the women. But it is the thought form of all of us, the memorial services and
giving the flag to the widow, etc., blowing taps, all of this mournful, mournful stuff. We
have focused in there the terrible tragedy that we had to sacrifice all those men on the
altar of lust or greed or power or whatever. But the thought form is there, and you can
feel it. I dislike heartily to go into a military cemetery.
BETTY: In our bigger cemeteries like the one that might have been where the
mobile homes are, could that also be those who didn't want to leave their bodies and are
caught in the Astral?
GLORIA: It could be the people that are buried there. Sure.
CLISTA: But ours all have stones standing on them. It would have to be ancient.
GLORIA: No, ours don't all have stones standing on them. I went to visit the
graveyard of my 7th or 8th generation removed immigrants from Ireland that came
through Ontario, and their gravestones are gone. They disappear.
CLISTA: I know about walking through those military cemeteries, because in
Georgia's Stone Mountain they have the Union ones and Confederates there, and you go
through that and it's the weirdest deal. At that time I was only in my teens, but I thought,
"My, this is the funniest thing I ever felt". I knew there was something different there.
GAYLA: There is a difference in where the person is when he/she dies. When
my Dad passed away, he told me the day before he died that he was going, and he gave
me instructions, and the next morning he was dead. And he was there to see to the
disposal of the body, and he showed himself to each one of us in some particular way that
we recognized. Another friend who wasn't there, wasn't anywhere near, passed away --
didn't want to pass away, didn't want to leave. Her son was in that house. She stayed
there and lived with him 15 years. When he died, my mother inherited the house, and I
went over there because when a house is empty there can be problems with vandals, and
she said, "You guys can sleep out there so that nobody will break in in the night." I sat
down in her chair, and she pushed me out of it. Dad said, "I won't sit in that chair. I
believe you." But she did not want my mother there; she did not want me there. She
pushed me out of her chair physically. There was no doubt. I tried 3 or 4 times to stay in
that chair because the phone is next to it. She would not let me sit in that chair. And
until the house and the furniture and everything was disposed of, she was right there
fighting it tooth and nail.
GLORIA: You have to fragment the power center. You have to disperse the
property. The more the property is held in one place, the more focalized power is, and
the more empowered the subtle bodies are to stay there.
OWEN: What happens to the sacred self of the individual in that situation?
GLORIA: Well, the Sacred Self is not detrimental, it goes along.
GAYLA: I felt a sadness for her in her discomfort. She had clung so tightly to
such a sad existence.
GLORIA: Well, that's what we've been studying about here. What's the idea that's
involved? If you feel that you have some kind of possession, like my grandmother had
her house and her household goods that owned her -- she didn't own them, they owned
her. And she couldn't bear to leave them. So in order for us to heal ourselves of what is
taking away the quality of our lives and keeping us from having what really is most
beneficial for us, we have to disperse that attachment to that idea, that ownership of that
idea.
BETTY: I was reminded that the Teachers told Jon Paul that he should release
his attachments to his antiques, rather than get rid of them. I started going over my stuff
and thinking, "If this house started burning, what would be most valuable? It got to be
real interesting watching myself deciding what was most valuable and what I would take.
I passed pictures of the family and all that kind of thing. And then it got down to
paintings on the wall that I've acquired from classes and things like that that are symbols
of beauty to me. It got down to, "I'd really like to have a sleeping bag if I didn't have
anything up there", and 3 or 4 books, two of which are Richard Bach's. It was interesting
to see myself go through this. Now if I had to get rid of all that, that would be hard, but I
can walk out and leave it.
GLORIA: When we were watching the demonstration of the Northridge
earthquake on the TV, I said to my mother, "What's in the house? If we had an
earthquake here in Vancouver/Portland, what's in the house here that you would take?" I
never got an answer; I have no idea what her answer is or might have been. But I also
asked myself that question, and I came up with the drinking water, because I saw in every
devostated area, the first thing they don't have is drinking water. And if we have water,
then we can continue without shelter, without food, without a lot of things if we have
water. And I thought, OK, if I'm going to escape this thing, if I'm going to take myself
out of the danger zone, then I'm saying that I want to perpetuate this body, otherwise I
would stay right here and let the house fall on me. So that's what I would take. I've got
two gallons of drinking water left from what we bought from Sidney that still has the seal
on it so it's still good. It's right by the escape route.
Of course, if I had time, if I knew in advance that I was going to be evacuated, I'd do like
Owen said -- I'd grab the boxes that have all of our transcripts in them. They are on disc
and that too I would take, but that doesn't mean that I would have a computer to use the
discs with. I have the boxes of transcripts, even though they might get wet or squirted in
a fire, or whatever, you've got something. Provided I could take the water too.
GAYLA: Well, Len made his computer portable, so he could take it. But we do
have sleeping bags that we keep in the trunk. That's just always there. That's a good
place to store it -- keeps the tool box from rolling around when you turn a corner, and it's
always there.
GLORIA: I've got a sleeping bag at both exits -- one out by the back door and one
by the garage door. So I probably would have a computer.
JEAN: Gloria, I think you spoke, you said that we were going to be able to think
in 6 ways.
GLORIA: No. I said the Teachers had said to us that they were going to teach us
MULTI-DIMENSIONAL THINKING. And when we begin to become aware of being
that drop of the flow that is in the flow, we are entering that experience of multi-
dimensional realization or thinking. The Teachers have also told us that what we call
thinking is processing the same information that we've always had. But when we get into
the flow, we begin to gather new information, so we are experiencing new THOUGHT.
It may not be our own original thought, but we are growing from it, and that's multi-
dimensional thinking because we're not getting it from this dimension. We're getting it
from the dimension to which the flow is going at the time of our awareness.
OWEN: You are speaking of information that we would be getting through the
Sacred Self. OK, we also get information through our own Guides or Source Group, we
invoke, for example, Ratziel, Divine Ideation -- I think that's a connection to the Mental
Realm for information (Gloria agreeing). Also, Sandalphon -- All that I need to know. A
lot of sources.
GLORIA: Well, it's not a lot of sources, it's a lot of avenues to the same Source.
You might say there is one body of knowledge, the Absolute.
OWEN: It's all Mental Realm then?
GLORIA: No, the Mental Realm is the sea of knowledge in which we have
existence, but it is not the only sea of knowledge. That's our this life plus all other "this
lives" library. And we have many avenues to that library.
OWEN: Where is the Akashic Record library?
GLORIA: In the Absolute. But that's all channelled in. Now Sheariam told us
that she was Scribe, remember? There are assigned entities that keep some kind of record
that makes some permanent recording in some manner. This has not been spelled out to
me, but my intuitive understanding of it is that those records that Sheariam kept or
contributed to, that library of knowledge is what is in our Mental Realm. Those are
immediate Akashic Records, if you will. But they ultimately become food for thought or
examination, as we examine the realms or the beings, like our animals and our insect
world and our plant world, we gather a lot of their knowledge from them. And that
becomes a part of our knowledge. And our knowledge becomes a part of other realms'
knowledge, because the higher realms have told us we build those realms. And we build
this library of knowledge and experience, and everything that you could put into that in
some way feeds the higher realms back to the Absolute. So that the total record would be
in the Absolute.
Well, we'd better start winding it down here. What do you need for closure?
JEAN: I would like one more question, and that is the relation of Higher Self to
Sacred Self.
GLORIA: OK. I don't think they are the same -- I think Sacred Self is a little bit
beyond Higher Self. I think Higher Self is pretty much our personality's HIGHER SELF,
where SACRED SELF is the Higher Self of all of ourselves. Another layer. Sacred Self
has more power than Higher Self and more knowledge than Higher Self.
Now, in my thinking, what other people refer to as "OVERSOUL" is what we are
referring to as Sacred Self.
GAYLA: So it would just go from Sacred Self to Higher Self to Personality.
GLORIA: Yes. Sacred Self has more power than Higher Self, more knowledge
than Higher Self.
GAYLA: OK, that's what I was saying earlier, that I thought it sounded to me
like. Like in the Seth Book, Oversoul Seven, that sounds to me like "Big Brother".
(GLORIA: I agree.)
JEAN: Then is Sacred Self a portion of the Soul?
GLORIA: Yes. Soul created it.
Anybody else need anything for closure?
(Various comments of appreciation to Gloria for the effort involved in putting the
workshop together, and to Edith for finding this place.)
GLORIA: I didn't go through as much work for this workshop as I have for others
in the past. I decided that if we are going to discuss Flow, then you are going to show me
how Flow works. (laughter) And this pink sheet (announcement) -- every item on this
sheet was made up in about ten minutes right on the computer except for the picture. The
picture had to be pasted up. And they told me, "Look at the bookshelf." And this book
came off, and when I opened it, it opened right to the picture. So I put the picture (of the
Bridge-of-the-Gods) on there. That's the way that happened.
I only made a few notes. When I arrived, I didn't have very many notes. Between each
session I went in and meditated and made whatever notes they gave me, and that's what I
brought back to you. (Agreement on how well it worked out.)
BETTY: That's sort of like Patsy who paints pictures for a living. "How long
does it take you to paint a picture?" And she said, "Oh, 25 years and two hours".
GLORIA: Fifty-six years and two and a half days.
JEAN: Is it possible to schedule a future workshop here, because I think this is
an ideal place, and it would be nice if we had it in our schedules.
GLORIA: I'm not going to set a date. It's possible that we might meet again here.
Does everybody agree with Jean about this location? (Kim suggested the Coeur d'Alene
Resort. Laughter.) It is entirely within the realm of possibility that we will come back
here, but I'm not going to set any dates.
JNANA: Have you had an inkling on any other material?
GLORIA: Did I leave something out? When I get it, you get it.
BETTY: Is it appropriate for us to ask, or is it more appropriate for the Teachers
to say, "We've got some more."?
GLORIA: I prefer to leave it to the Teachers, because they know what my mental
and emotional health is. My Sacred Self knows what my future embodies, and when it's
going to be possible for me to get away. This was not my choice for weekends, but this
was the weekend it was possible.
BETTY: We could invoke that we appropriate another weekend workshop at this
place or equal or better on a subject matter that is equal or greater.
GLORIA: Sounds good to me. The one thing you are not going to get is a
wedding. (laughter) If anybody wants a wedding, boy, I'll be glad to tie the knot,
because when I tie a knot, it doesn't get undone.
BETTY: Well Jean, are you going to do your part on that? (more laughter)
EDITH: Are the Teachers pleased with our accomplishment this weekend?
GLORIA: They are never judgmental. They are always pleased with us no matter
what tiny, tiny little progress we make. They are more pleased that we make the effort,
that we took the step. That's what's important -- that we aspire. And it is important for us
to take the time out from our daily lives to focus on this, this particular journey over these
particular hours. That's what pleases them.
OWEN: Gloria, you'll be staying in Vancouver in the foreseeable future?
GLORIA: As far as I know. You'll have to ask Sacred Self.
OWEN: Montana is not in the picture?
GLORIA: I could sell the house tomorrow and be in Libby the day after. I don't
know.
OWEN: Any change at all in the earth changes?
GLORIA: Only that I have been feeling very, very strongly that the prophecies
about the West Coast are coming to pass, and I have been given to more thought about
our emergency preparations. I'm rather careless in that respect -- I get them together, and
then I scatter them. I have been compelled to put all my camping gear into a Rubbermaid
tote -- the big gray Rubbermaids that have the sealing lids on them. They are fairly well
damp proof, and they will float. And to get my water at the door, to get my sleeping bags
at the door. My camp gear like my candles and my matches and my first aid kit and my
flashlight and my batteries and my radio -- all those little things that need to be put in a
container are now in a container. If Source says, "Leave tonight", I can do what I've been
told to do -- load 'er in the truck and go. So I do feel that it's important.
GAYLA: We have all of our stuff in two back packs. I have to get healthy so I
can carry it.
EDITH: Have you been given any information appropriate for us regarding
finances?
GLORIA: Well, they have approved the offshore investment of Banner Fund.
Now this is not the one that Peter was talking about, believe me. The Swiss Trade and
Commerce Trust Ltd. is headquartered in Belize, which is an English-speaking country as
you all know from Molly. The Swiss Trade and Commerce Trust are trustees of trusts
from all over the world. They've got something like 30,000 trusts. The trust that I
established before Temple's was #104,037, so that is 104,000 right there. So it is not a
piker operation here. Some of those may only have $100 or $200 in them, but some of
them have millions in them. They operate through a vehicle called Banner Fund, and
they trade in money market documents and in international currency and that kind of
thing. They are four years old, and my trust was established in October 1992.
From October '92 to October '93 my trust averaged out over the twelve months to have
made a 27 and a half percent gain. Over the last six months, the gain has only been
somewhere between 18 and 19%, and last month the annualized gain was only 14.88%.
But when you consider that is five times as much or better than you are getting on a
domestic savings account, and the federal insurance is of no value, you're better off
risking that little bit of risk and making a better return, if you are going to invest for gain
and return, increase in capital.
Now some of Temple's money is in Stein Roe Special at the behest of the Teachers -- that
was the one they picked. I don't have any personal money in Stein Roe. None of my
mutual fund investments have done nearly as well as Stein Roe Special has. It has far
outdistanced in earnings. When we took the Temple money out of the bank in Tigard, we
had somewhere around $2,300. Before I established the trust, it had gained $800 just in
Stein Roe. So I took $1,500 out of Stein Roe and left the $l,500+ in Stein Roe, and I
distributed that $1,500+ among the trusts and a $500 domestic savings account that's
available any time Temple needs immediate cash -- I don't have to wait for the mutual
fund distribution or the 30-day wait to get my money out of the trust. We can go right to
the $500 and get it. If there is an emergency before that, we've got the Hadiki money.
So the Temple funds are growing. They are going to well cover our publication costs,
easy with money to spare. And hopefully the investors are going to get, not only their
investments back, but some profit out of it.
BETTY: It has come through to me as a want that when an index is being
established, it would be nice to have a very personal index in that when they answered
specific questions to us individuals. At the time we heard them, but do we remember
where they were?
GLORIA: Somehow you are going to have to give me some guidelines on how to
index that. Do I say "Betty" and then all the answers where they have answered all your
questions? When you ask a question, you cover many topics.
GAYLA: Creating the index for this thing is no small chore. You're guessing at
best as to how it should be done.
BETTY: My thought was that this would not be of general interest to other
people at any rate -- a page listing of references to personal information.
GLORIA: I see what you are saying. That's a possibility, but not right now. I
think we have to do the major index first. Maybe we can do that. That is a question I
have had too. Two people have asked me where there were certain references to their
situations. That might be a good project to undertake. And some of the indexing we are
doing now will help with that.
BETTY: Some of the things in Roger's life readings I didn't understand at all.
But now I realize there were references in the transcripts that clarified, now several years
later.
GLORIA: OK. Anything else?
(Discussion of leaving a gratuity for our host, Jean.)
BETTY: The most sacred Indian ceremony is the "Give Away". It has even
greater power if given away anonymously without expectation or possibility of
recognition. Giving away your smiles and many little things. Giving with purpose and
intent carries it farther.
GLORIA: The real trick to successful giving is to give without any strings
attached. Don't ever give a gift and then ask someone what they did with it.
BETTY: And if you're not willing to give it without strings, you retain it and you
say, "This is grandmother's, but you can use it whenever you want it as long as you bring
it back here."
GLORIA: Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Don't accept gifts that are not
given without strings.
CLISTA: I have an example. It deals with manipulators. When someone who is a
manipulator offers me something, I just won't take it, because they are expecting you to
do something or give something back. They only give it to you as a come-on.
GLORIA: A gift with strings is a hook. You're giving the worm to the fish.
CLISTA: But if it's from other people that aren't manipulating, then it's freely
given.
GLORIA: (with respect to borrower or lender) We must not create debt. We
come into this incarnation under the LAW OF DOMINANCE to settle up our debt. If
you borrow money, if you take gifts that have strings attached to them, you are creating
karma that has to be offset somehow. That is why the Teachers are saying, "If you are in
debt, pay it off. No credit cards, gas cards, no plastic. Go cash." Now of course we live
in a society where we have already been entrapped into mortgages. That's probably the
biggest debt holder there is. If there is any way you can get your real estate free from a
mortgage holder, do so. It is better to live in a rented domicile that you can walk out and
leave behind, than to live in a mortgaged domicile. Because the mortgagor has
dominance over you. You are not free to call your own shots. You can't do anything
with that property without the bank giving approval, even approving the guy that you
want to sell it to. You are submitting to the dominance of an institution, if it's a bank. Or
if you are borrowing money from someone, if it's a debt that has to be paid back, you're
giving that person dominance over your freedom. If we did not have a government that
was bound and determined to dominate every area of our lives, this farmer fiasco would
never have happened. They would not have maneuvered the farmer into that corner.
EDITH: It's just like when I retired. I could have retired earlier or retired at the
time with disability at higher pay. But I refused to be controlled by having to stay sick. I
was determined I wasn't going to stay sick. So I worked until I wasn’t physically able so
I wouldn't be controlled.
BETTY: Jack Schwartz, you know, spent several times in concentration camps.
He learned to control his mind and everything. I think his being controlled as a prisoner
was an opportunity to build other things. Cayce used several of his great difficulties as
opportunities. So it's a matter of whether we let our totality be dominated. Give unto
Caesar that which is Caesar's and retain that which is the I AM. And use the experience
under dominance for growth in other ways.
GLORIA: But when you give a gift with strings attached, you are putting yourself
in a place of dominance over the receiver of the gift. If the receiver accepts that gift with
strings, the receiver is accepting that dominance.
GAYLA: When somebody asks to borrow $10, instead of complying and waiting
to get it back, just give them the $10...
GLORIA: And count that as your givingness, and you know that it's going to
come back ten-fold.
GAYLA: I know that I always get repayment some other place, some other time
in some kind. By the same token, when I accept from someone in my time of need, I also
know that I will have opportunity to repay at some other time and place. And I feel a
balance there.
GLORIA: Expectations are where the strings are. And they are usually emotional
strings.
One of the problems is getting hooked into it without thinking about the possibilities of
strings. Unfortunately, this has to do with a member of our group, and I get in trouble
when I talk about a member of our group.
I borrowed something in good will that I thought was offered in good faith, and it was
understood that it was a loan that I would be using only temporarily while I was in the
company of the individual. But it ended up that the individual also wanted to dictate how
I used it, when I used it, and where and how I stored it. And when I didn't comply with
those expectations, I was verbally chastised. So I put the item on the table and left it.
And she said, "Here, you forgot this." And I said, "No I didn't. I do not wish to use it
any longer. Thank you. You put too many obligations on it, and had I known that it cost
$120 instead of the $20 I thought it was worth, I would not have borrowed it in the first
place, because I would know that would be too important to you for me to use." And
there has been a very strained relationship with that person ever since. I have never been
forgiven for refusing to accept the use of that object.
CLISTA: It's a way for people to steal your power. (Gloria agreeing.)
MAXINE: You said, "Never a borrower nor a lender be". What about the lender?
GAYLA: If you can give it, don't lend it.
MAXINE: But if someone comes to you and asks to borrow $100.
GLORIA: Say, "I will not lend you $100, I will give you $100." Then if the
person has the conscience to repay it, you can be grateful for that. If they don't, you have
to know that the giving is going to be returned to you tenfold somewhere, sometime,
somehow. It may not come from that person. It may come from someone else.
PHYLLIS: You are saying that we still have the option of saying "NO".
GLORIA: The point is, don't fall into the trap of the lend. Figure out some way to
satisfy the situation. My nephew called me up the other night and said, "Aunt Gloria, can
I borrow $15 until I get paid tomorrow?" I said, "No. I don't think so." He said "OK". If
I said "Yes", it would start a trend that would escalate in amounts and delay of repayment
until he asks for $500 which I would never get back. And I'm not doing him any favors.
Sometimes "No" is the best thing you can do for people.
(After a break)
GLORIA: During my meditations here I have been reading "The Prophet" and re-
reading it. Any of you that don't know that book, you need to treat yourself to it, because
it is so informative, enjoyable, and inspiring. And I thought to myself, "They're treating
me like the Prophet was treated". The Prophet had been there, and his ship was coming
to take him away, and they all knew that he was going away. They all rushed to him
saying, "Master, Master, tell us about pain. Tell us about love. Tell us about marriage."
And so each one of these little dissertations is in response to the "Master, Master, tell us"
sort of thing. Now, we've gone all the way through the workshop, and I'm striving
towards closure, and you're all saying, "Tell us, tell us." What an honor you are
rendering me.
OK, let's settle ourselves. Take deep breaths... And begin that process that you would go
through to give thanks to your parent or your mentor or your guides. Begin that process
of love and gratitude that lifts the altitude of your attitude. Feel the rising in your chest.
Feel the power going up through your throat as you say:
"Thank you, Sacred Self. Thank you for making yourself known to me. Thank you for
lending me this period of time which I must then give away. As I give of which you have
given me, I know that it is not mine to hold on to, but to give again as you give."
Feel the gratitude for the others in the Circle that have shared this time, the insights that
have been offered, gratitude for the insights that have been gained. And let's give our
thanks to the Teachers for having arranged this weekend so beautifully.
And as we offer our gratitude, we feel the love flowing into us. Their blessing to us for
aspiration. And that blessing of love flows through us and around us and comforts and
holds us, just as the arms of a parent hold and cradle a child.
So as we go our separate ways, let's take with us this joy of sharing that has been so
wonderful this weekend. Let the memories of this weekend bless us, and remind us of
what we have learned, so that we can put these truths to work in our own lives.
Let's together say, "Thank-you Sacred Self. Thank- you Sacred Self. Thank-you Sacred
Self. Thank-you Sacred Self."
All right, then we are going to do this 3 times, and we are going to direct our thanks to
our family members in Hadiki, right here. "Thank-you family members in Hadiki."
(done 3 times) Now, feel that love that flows upward and downward and vertically
between us, horizontally between us and engulfs us. We are eternally linked in this
vibrational moment, if you will. Wherever you go, it will always be a part of you. ....
And now accept that love and blessings. It's given freely without strings. Feel yourself
filled with it. ... And when you are filled and gratified with this given love, hands
together sealing it in so that you can keep it with you. ...
Does this room feel fuller than it was just a little while ago?
I think we have brought a cohesion here. I think just the acts of focusing on a mental
gratitude and an exchange of love has brought a cohesion to the energy that was pretty
fragmented just a short time ago, as fatigue had begun to work its way with us. So I think
this has been something of a refresher, and we can go away in alertness, with
thanksgiving and joy.
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